Why Should I Have To Change My Name?
Start writing a post

Why Should I Have To Change My Name?

A letter from a very proud family girl

Why Should I Have To Change My Name?

In my life, I don’t believe I know a single woman who has kept only their last name after getting married. Maybe I’m just young and immature, but I don’t believe that I would ever want to change my last name.

Marriage is the joining of two people who love each other to be endowed to one another for life, but why does that mean I have to give up my identity that I have lived with my whole life? I grew up in a large family who spent pretty much every waking moment together. I’m extremely proud to be a part of this family and to have people recognize that I am in this family. I don’t understand why I should have to give that up whenever it is something that I am proud to define myself by. Maybe that is selfish of me, but I can’t understand why I would want to give up the name that binds me to my family.

I could just be jealous of my family however. I have over abundance of male cousins, and out of all of them, only 4 do not have the same last name as me. Needless to say, my father’s parents had a lot of boys and only one girl. I don’t understand why all of my cousins get to keep that defining factor of themselves but I, just because I’m a lady, have to comply and give up my last name to be connected to whomever I marry if I ever do. My last two cousins who are male, are from my mother’s side of the family, where my Papa was blessed with three daughters, all of which changed their name after being married. I don’t judge my aunts and mother for changing their names, I actually respect them for having this extreme courage to change their last name to another. However, now my mother’s maiden name has almost become lost in space. My grandma and papa passed away when I was very young, so my mother’s maiden name is still on this earth, but it isn’t as present, and I wish it was, but that wasn’t my choice, so I cannot change it.

Whenever I’m with my parents, I always say that “mom you could have hyphenated your last name”. She always says “I could have, but I’ll always be a Carroll at heart” and my dad always says “yeah but now you’re a Gaul”. This is a little irritating because she grew up with her maiden name that I’m sure she was proud of, I wonder why she never kept it, but that was her choice. I would gladly accept both my father and mother’s last names because I can’t see how someone can all of the sudden be defined by a last name that they did not grow up with. This means becoming defined by a family you are married into one whom didn't mold you into who you are. You know this family and are a part of it, but you will never fully “know” this family. They did not help you and love you all those years in life and mold you into you.

If marriage is in fact a union of two people, why can’t the two people both have to change their last names, not to one or the others almost as an “ownership” of someone? I don’t mind hyphenated last names, but why do both spouses not change? For example, in the case of my parents, have my mother and father both have the last name of Carroll-Gaul. I have always looked at my last name as a part of my heritage and held it very close to my heart. I wouldn’t want to give it up because it has made me who I am today and I wouldn’t want to trade that for any person I plan on marrying. No matter who I marry, if I do, I will always want to be recognized as a Gaul, whether hyphenated or fully, I will always want it to define me.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

12 Reasons Why I Love Christmas

What's Not To Love? But These Reasons Are Why Christmas Is Best

Young woman with open arms enjoying the snow on a street decorated with Christmas lights.

There are so many reasons why I love the Christmas time! Check out the joy that makes this time of year truly special, from festive traditions to heartwarming moments. Enjoy!

Keep Reading...Show less

A Beginner's Wine Appreciation Course

While I most certainly do not know everything, I feel like I know more than the average 21-year-old about vino, so I wrote this beginner's wine appreciate course to help YOU navigate the wine world and drink like a pro.

White wine being poured into a glass

Keep Reading...Show less
Types of ice cream

Who doesn't love ice cream? People from all over the world enjoy the frozen dessert, but different countries have their own twists on the classic treat.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

100 Reasons to Choose Happiness

Happy Moments to Brighten Your Day!

A man with a white beard and mustache wearing a hat

As any other person on this planet, it sometimes can be hard to find the good in things. However, as I have always tried my hardest to find happiness in any and every moment and just generally always try to find the best in every situation, I have realized that your own happiness is much more important than people often think. Finding the good in any situation can help you to find happiness in some of the simplest and unexpected places.

Keep Reading...Show less

Remember The True Meaning of Christmas

“Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you?”

A painting of the virgin Mary, the baby Jesus, and the wise men

It’s everyone’s favorite time of year. Christmastime is a celebration, but have we forgotten what we are supposed to be celebrating? There is a reason the holiday is called Christmas. Not presentmas. Not Santamas. Not Swiftmas. Christmas.

boy standing in front of man wearing santa claus costume Photo by __ drz __ on Unsplash

What many people forget is that there is no Christmas without Christ. Not only is this a time to spend with your family and loved ones, it is a time to reflect on the blessings we have gotten from Jesus. After all, it is His birthday.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments