I think we all have had that one relationship that just isn't good for us. Maybe is isn't necessarily bad for us but it's not healthy to continue it. Whether it be because it's toxic, dangerous, or something simple. But one thing we should never do is settle. This person may be amazing in a thousand in one ways but if there is one thing that just doesn't go along with what you want then you're settling. Settling is never a win for anyone, both parties are in a lose/lose situation. If you continue this relationship you're always going to remember that you settled.
I experienced this just last week with my boyfriend. He was great and I'm not going to bash him but alot of things we believed in just didn't match up. Some were silly things like completely different taste in music, some were a little more important like differing political views, and some were crazy serious like the fact that he NEVER ever ever ever wanted kids......and I wanted alot of babies. (like seven).
This topic had come up in the beginning of our relationship and we talked about it but he never put it out there that he never wanted them, he kind of just pushed it off saying he didn't really want them but he didn't know. But it came up again sometime last week and we spent forever talking about the idea of kids. And listen when i tell you he didn't just not want kids like right now.....he NEVER wanted them and more drastic measures were to be made to make sure that NEVER happened.
After I went home that night I sat there and weighed everything in our relationship. I weighed the good and the bad. I contemplated whether to end things, but then that felt kind of harsh. I contemplated whether to continue the relationship but that felt even more harsh. So I talked about it with a friend and she told me straight up about what needed to happen. She said that I didn't need to settle, that I couldn't settle on such an important issue. So I didn't settle.
Settling just isn't an option. Especially when there are so many people out there that match your views on things in life. You are important and to belittle yourself to fit someones standards should never even cross your mind. YOU are worth more than gold, so act like it. You might think that you've been through hell and back with this person and you see a future with them. But once you settle, you lose. You lose the right to feel like you have everything you want in a partner, because you don't. You lose the right to say that they are your soul mate, and that everything is perfect, because it isn't.
You have a decision to make, and it is okay to make that decision. You decide that your differences don't matter and that they won't affect your relationship in the future in any way. Or you decide that it is just too much. Because you should never settle on the big things in life. You decide your future.
