After our first loss…
We have to learn that we don’t always get a chance to say good bye. Or to say our last “I love you.” No matter how certain we are that a loss is coming, we can never really prepare. Instead, we must adjust to life, without the physical representation of their spirit. And we must realize that dying is merely a part of life.
We have to understand that they left on their terms, not ours. One’s time on earth is determined by their ability to let go, not ours.
We have to understand that God has a plan. Even if it seems like they suffered too long or they left too suddenly or they weren’t ready. It was all for a reason.
We have to realize that everyone copes in different ways. While one person may cling to the sympathy of others, another may prefer to grieve in solitude. Both are OK.
It may seem that the thought of our deceased loved one will never leave our mind, but in time, everyone comes to peace with the event.
It’s hard to grasp the concept of absence. It’s hard to internalize what we see going on around us and to wrap our head around the fact that we can’t pay them a visit any longer or give them a call. Instead, we have to learn to visit them in our memories and remember them in our prayers and honor their life through stories that live on past them.
At first, it’s hard when people say their name. It brings a lump to our throat and a pressure behind our eyes and the unmistakable ache of a suppressed sob. But in time, the name brings a melancholy joy. A joy that you were able to spend the time they had with them.
It’s easy to get caught up in regrets. Things you should’ve or could’ve done. But there’s no use dwelling on the decisions of your past self. And you must remember that they forgive you.
Because they are resting, now. And they are happy for all the moments they spent on Earth.
