I'm watching the first season of Grey's Anatomy (again) and wishing so desperately that I had my own McDreamy to keep me company and tell me that I'm like coming up for fresh air.

But then I remember that I don't want that. At all.

I spent the first eighteen years of my life pining away for boys and thinking that I needed to be in a relationship to validate some part of myself. I thought that finding Mr. Right (or, you know, a boy with pretty eyes who wasn't a meninist) would complete me. I wanted to be swept up in that crazy thing called love that Nicholas Sparks has made millions off of.

The reality, though, is that I don't want to be in a relationship. I like my independence, like the freedom in being able to be just a little bit selfish when it comes to making decisions. I like hanging out with guys and not having to worry that another boy in my life is up late at night worrying about it.

To be honest, I like the chase. I like falling for boys too quickly and letting the feelings sizzle out just as quickly as they started. There's that fun rush of talking to someone new, trying to figure out who they are and who they hope you'll be. I like flirting, sarcastic comments running back and forth like playful nudges to see where it might go.

Being single means that I can go out on a Saturday night and talk to cute boys in dirty frat basements. It's not like that's the best place to meet people or that I even want to spend as much time as I do in fraternity houses, but it's all part of this college experience. I'm not trying to find my boyfriend at the next dage I go, and that's okay.

Beyond the freedom, though, being single lets me focus on me. College is a time of figuring yourself out. You're making a lot of big decisions about the rest of your life. What do you want to do for a living? Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be?

Giving myself the time and space to grow has been an amazing experience. I've explored new passions and finally become comfortable with the career path I'm on (even though this will probably change three more times before or after I graduate, it takes time). Being single has meant that I can focus on myself and becoming the person that I want to be.

It has also given me the chance to pour myself into the relationships I already have. My friends are hilarious, messy, supportive, dramatic nerds who I love with my entire heart. My family is amazing and weird; I wouldn't change them for the world. Being single lets me spend time with the people who already have such large chunks of my heart, and I'm grateful for that.

I like spending my nights with my friends, talking about the boys we matched with on Tinder or the cute kid who sat next to one of us in a lecture hall. There's something so innocent and fun about indulging in ole fashioned boy talk. How much longer can you really do that for? There's going to come a time when everyone's getting engaged and posting it on Instagram (or some other social network that's about to take over).

At the end of the day, though, I have nothing against relationships. I know couples who have been together for years and are honest #goals. They've found someone who makes them happier, brighter, better. Relationships are beautiful things when they're a place of comfort and growth. They can bring out the best in people and foster a sense of maturity that only comes from truly loving someone so earnestly.

I haven't been there yet. I've been with great guys who made me happy but weren't my end-all-be-all. One day, I'll (hopefully) find someone who makes me smile without trying and knows just which buttons to push to make me laugh. I'll fall in that weird thing called love and probably deny it for a while. Then, I'll realize that a feeling like that is unstoppable, and I'll let myself embrace it.

It'll happen, but I'm in no rush. My McDreamy can take his time and focus on himself, too. He can make some mistakes and grow from them, talk to pretty girls and fall for them. I'll find boys who I think are my one and only and realize that they're really just one and only one week/month.

Being single has its rewards. I'm not saying to close yourself off from love, but just bask in this kind of independence for a little while. Remember how amazing you are and how lucky anyone would be to have you in their life.