As someone who made the choice five years ago to take the focus off boys and put it on myself, I promise there are many great things that come from being single.
But let’s get one thing straight first: being single doesn't equate to being desperate or lonely. Don’t ever assume this. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I need or want you to set me up with anyone.
I’m actually really happy being on my own, and here’s why:
You get to be selfish when you’re single.
You don’t have to continually take someone else’s feelings into account and that’s a great feeling. Being in a relationship means being considerate of your significant other and what they want, which influences your decision-making. A major benefit of being single is the only opinion that matters is your own.
You become great at giving relationship advice.
You got to watch all your friends in relationships mess up over and over again so you get a pretty great handle on what not to do. The down side? You’re horrible at comforting people. You’ve seen other people go through it, so you can perfectly explain what course of action to take, but you may not have experienced it yourself, so let somebody else pass your friend the tissues.
You can invest time and energy into other things.
When your focus is on yourself as opposed to another person, you’re going to be doing the things you want to do. This might mean sitting in bed all day watching Netflix, or working extra hard for that upcoming exam (okay probably not that second one). Again, you get to do what you want.
You get to spend more time with your friends and family.
Not only can you be there for other people as a support system, but you can actually be there because you’re probably more free than your friends in relationships. Your friends don’t have to worry about Friday being “date night” for you—they know you’re really just sitting at home eating pizza and watching Disney movies.
You’re not tied down.
Being single means getting to study abroad for several months without worrying if your significant other will be okay with that. It means picking up and moving across the country after graduation just because you can and you don’t have to think about whether or not that’s a good choice for both you and your partner. You’re much more likely to try new things and pursue greater opportunities when you’re single.
You learn about yourself.
You really become your own person when you’re single.
At 21-years-old, I feel like I have a pretty great understanding of who I am as a person, but I know that’s not the case for my friends who have been in and out of relationships.
When I was maturing and going through typical life struggles, I had friends and family if I needed them, but most importantly I had myself. I was able to develop into my own person without someone else helping make me whole. I was myself, apart from anyone else.
I watched as my friends had their worlds shattered when their relationships ended because they lost sight of who they were when they were with someone else. They struggled to find themselves again when they were left alone to pick up the pieces.
Being single isn’t always a cakewalk. There are days where you see two people holding hands and your heart kind of aches. There are nights when you’re laying in bed and wish you had someone to talk to. But those days are far outnumbered by the other days...
The days where you’re loving life and you're too wrapped up in your own fun to worry about someone else. The days when your independence and freedom make you feel like you can do anything you want. For now, I’m more than happy to be living those days to the fullest.
