Dating yourself. Yes, it seems like an odd concept—why would you want to date yourself? Why would you want to do everything for yourself when you could just find someone to do it for you? I mean, that’s what a relationship is, right? Finding someone to buy you dinner, fix your flat, or spend the holidays with?
Wrong.
A healthy relationship is much, much more than that. A healthy relationship is all of that and then some. A healthy relationship requires you to appreciate a lot more than just being taken out to dinner or a giant stuffed bear on Valentine’s Day. So why do we settle for the frill and the fluff?
To this day I cannot figure out why people would rather be in an unrealistic fairytale relationship than actually have something real and meaningful. For two years I let myself pretend that because my boyfriend took me out to fancy dinners, bought me extravagant gifts and sent me good morning texts, that I was happy. For two years I told myself all of that made me the happiest girl in the world.
It took me two years to realize that I deserved a lot more than the frill and the fluff. I deserved patience, trust, support and encouragement—and he wasn’t willing to give me that.
So here I am six months later, and still single.
If I’ve learned one thing over the past six months, it’s the importance of dating yourself—especially if you’ve never had the chance to. Recently, I’ve started making myself my number one priority and, god, does it feel good. By not having another person to constantly worry about, I’m finding myself again. One piece at a time, I’m rebuilding myself into the person I should have been becoming all along.
I enjoy going to class again and learning new things—it’s almost unbelievable how much my grades have improved. I have so much time for my family and friends who I feel like I had pushed aside in the past. I go to the gym more than just when I’m feeling bad about myself. In fact, being on my own has made my self-worth and self-confidence improve dramatically.
I chose to date myself because I needed to be reminded of how great I truly am. I didn’t need to hear it from a guy, or my friends, or my family—I needed to hear it from myself. I didn’t kiss a guy at midnight on New Year’s. I didn’t have a special someone on Valentine’s Day. Heck, I bought myself a Valentine’s Day present! Three words: Treat. Yo. Self. Every day, I’m falling more in love with being me and I couldn’t be happier.
You have to be able to make yourself happy before you can make someone else happy. If you never learn to love yourself, you are never going to be able to love in return. Make it your goal to find all the things you love about yourself and do not settle for anyone who doesn’t love those things just as much as you do. I refuse to date again until I find that person. Dating myself has allowed me the opportunity to fall in love with every aspect of my life—not just the frill and the fluff. I don’t need anyone to define me or be the reason for my happiness. I define myself. I am the reason for my happiness. Most importantly, I’m in a relationship with the coolest person ever—me.
