When my high school announced that our spring musical would be Legally Blonde, I was torn between wanting to fight for the role of Elle Woods and accepting the fact that I probably wasn't talented enough to portray her. Regardless, I had to audition anyway. I walked onto the stage, introduced myself, and waited for three people to decide what the next three months of my life were going to be like after I opened my mouth to sing. I had been told that I was a talented actress but the word ‘talent’ loses its meaning when two years go by and you have been given no indication you will ever be anything more than an ensemble member. I had thought my junior year of high school would be nothing more than tests, studying, and homework, but this one moment made my blood rush and my head spin in a way that completely changed everything. For the first time in two years, my name was on the callback list. I was excited and terrified. What if I couldn’t do it? I had little vocal training and was sure I could never sing well enough to compete against the other hundred girls who wanted to be Elle. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I let myself go, uninhibited, and I got the lead role.
It is true when they say nothing good comes easily. The next three months I spent preparing for opening night were beyond demanding and frustrating. I was constantly being compared to my counterparts, who had more experience and training than I had. It was infuriating to struggle with notes and dance combinations when others caught on so fast. I started believing I had been cast by mistake. It took some time to accept that I had to work very hard to get the results I wanted. The more time and effort I put in, the more I got out of every rehearsal. I started working harder on my vocals during my free time every day. I asked the choreographer for extra help and cleaned up my dancing. Once I started taking responsibility for myself and putting in the right kind of effort, the process became easier. Standing on that same stage in the same spot on opening night felt much different than it did standing there during auditions. I owned my performance and had the time of my life portraying Elle Woods. It was extremely challenging for me but gave me so much confidence as a performer and as a person.
If you want something, you have to work hard and earn it; nothing is simply handed to you. You may not be rewarded for your efforts as soon as you'd like but it's important to hold your ground and keep trying.
