"What are your plans after graduation?"
If you haven't cringed after receiving this question, you're a very lucky soul.
Most college students get asked the six-letter phrase. Some know exactly what their future holds while others have no idea.
For me, I have no clue what my future entails. When I tell people this, the look on their faces is priceless; I've always been confident in myself, and I’ve excelled in school, how could I not know what I'm doing after graduation?
It’s easy.
I don’t know what I want to do.
There. I said it.
“What about your degree?”
Oh yeah. My degree.
I’m going to school for journalism.
At 18 years old, I thought I wanted to be on television and report the news to the lovely citizens of the United States. I sought a world of journalism where only facts were told and opinions were kept to ourselves. I thought I’d be fighting for the people through my reporting.
After a few semesters of trying it out at the campus news station and watching cable and broadcast news left and right, I realized I wasn’t vain enough to be on air and I didn’t support corporate America owning the majority of our networks, where old, rich, white men shovel what they want us to believe down our throats.
Four years later, and I’m graduating with a degree I don’t even enjoy anymore.
How’s that for irony.
Expectations from family, friends, bosses, and professors create an enormous amount of pressure for a college student. Like I said, some kids have it easy and they are moving to another state as soon as they graduate to start their big kid job. For the rest of us, life after graduation is kind of terrifying.
I blame professors. They hammer it into your brain that you need to get a job set up for after graduation. There is no excuse, and there is no other option. Do it, or fail.
The other day, an instructor was excited when they asked what I was doing on my laptop and I said, “Applying for jobs.”
“Oh! It’s that time of year! What for?”
“Just a serving position somewhere in Flagstaff. I need money now.”
“Oh. I thought it was for a career.”
“I’m not mentally ready for a big kid job.”
“Oh. Well. You’ll have to enter the real world soon.”
Gee, thanks for the reminder, not like I’m already worried about it enough.
Sure, professors’ and instructors’ jobs are to inspire and help mold students into career men and women, but what they don't understand is the pressure they put on us.
So much pressure, that I had to add two more minors in addition to my first one, and a semester of studying abroad in order not to graduate early.
So much pressure, that I’m not even looking forward to graduation. I’m actually dreading it. The day I applied for graduation, I felt miserable. I wish I could skip it all together.
School is the only thing I’ve ever known, and I’m great at it. If I could be a student forever, I would, but that’s not how life works.
I’m green with envy about those who know exactly what they want to do. I’m jealous of people who have found their passion and can pursue it. I want to be someone who is excited about her future, rather than fear it.
All I need is for someone to tell me “it’s okay.”
Because it is okay.
It’s okay if you don’t have a job lined up. It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do with your future. It’s okay if you need time to figure it out.
We’re in our twenties, damn it, and this is the time to make mistakes and find ourselves.
I don’t want to move to some rural area of the United States just because my professors told me to start small and make my way up.
I don’t want to live by myself, far from my family and friends, and loathe my career or location.
I don’t want to have a long distance relationship with my long-term boyfriend.
I don’t want to scroll through my newsfeed searching for any sort of nostalgia for my previous life.
As a millennial, we value our happiness over material items. Experiences and memories hold more value than a career ever could.
As I’m finishing this up, I can already hear the responses to this:
“Beggars can’t be choosers.”
“You’re going to have bills to pay, you realize that, right?”
“You can only say this because you don’t have student loans.”
“You’re going to have to suck it up eventually.”
“You’re a typical millennial.”
You know what? You’re all right.
But I’ll figure it out eventually. I have to. I know I do. And one day, I’ll have a happy life, with a family, working a job I don’t detest, and I’ll even be able to pursue my interests.
But for now, I’m taking life one day at a time.
Because it's okay.
