The other day my roommate was lying in bed and she said, “It would be so nice if a boy was laying here next to me,” and naturally, I agreed with her. But isn’t something really wrong with that picture? That in order to be happy, or extra happy, we should have a guy in our lives. Society has told us from a really young age that in order to be happy you need to be in some type of relationship. Celebrities make it seem so glamorous to be dating people constantly…and these are the people we look up to. The people we want to be like. Now, we have all been in relationships; good and bad. We’ve been through the good times, the bad times, the fights, the breakups, whether they were mutual or not…and even after all of that we still say, ‘Wow, if I had a boyfriend I would be set.”
I understand the feeling of wanting someone to care about, and love, and spoil unconditionally, and have all of the same feelings reciprocated…but isn’t it important to love ourselves too? Isn’t it important to love ourselves first? Before we even try and love someone else?
We all have those things we wish we could change about ourselves. My nose is too long, my hair is too stringy, my stomach is too flabby, my laugh is so annoying, or my personal favorite, my thighs are so freaking big. Sure, there’s always the little things we wish we could change, and a lot of it we can. We can exercise and eat healthier or use a better shampoo and conditioner. But if we don’t love ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to love us?
After getting out of a pretty bad relationship…I had to figure out what to do with my time. I was so used to hanging out with him and texting him that I really didn’t know what to do with all this free time. I didn’t know what made me happy. I focused so much of my time and energy on him and what he wanted and what I could do to make him happy. But then, it was my turn.
It’s really important to figure out what makes you happy. What you’re passionate about. Find something to fall in love with other than a person, where the relationship has a 50/50 chance of working out…or not. And at this time in our lives, it’s most likely the latter.
Do you like photography? Good! Go take pictures of people walking through Central Park. What about art? Sit outside a cute coffee shop and paint the scenery. Obsessed with makeup? Awesome! Try out different eyeshadow techniques on yourself! Personally, I still haven’t found what make me happy or what I’m passionate about – but I’m working on it. I’m still trying to love myself. And until I can do that, I’m not ready to love someone else.
In order to love someone else you have to love yourself first.
So, the hair that is too stringy or the laugh that is annoying or the stomach that is too flabby, learn to love it. Because someday someone is going to come along and love all of those things about you. They aren’t going to care if you have cellulite on the back of your legs or if your left eye is slightly lower than your right. All the flaws that you see in yourself will be someone else’s favorite things about you one day. They will love all of those things, big thighs and all. They will love you for you.
And most importantly, they will love you for loving yourself.
