It seems that the older we get, the harder it gets to make plans with our friends. Sometimes it’s just a matter of conflicting schedules, while other times it’s simply a matter of dissimilar interests. Things that appealed to me last year might not be so intriguing this year. Alternatively, activities my group of friends used to partake in might not be at the top of our to-do list in more recent times. Even if you do enjoy the things you used to, what happens when you have to prioritize things like work or school above them? All of this is normal, but it poses the question—what do you do when you’re the only one available or interested? Do you pass up on the opportunity because you would be by yourself? Do you take the chance and do it anyway because it’s something you really want to try? We’ve all had to ask ourselves that daunting question before, and I’m here to say that you should definitely choose to do it anyway.

Back in high school, it was a lot harder to be my own friend and spend a Friday night going on an adventure. When you’re young you’re a lot more naive, which gives your parents a reason to say ‘no’ not just to go out with your best friend, but by yourself. Even if I had been allowed to explore on my own terms, I can 100% say I would not have wanted to. I would have been far too uncomfortable to just be by myself, not necessarily out of fear that something bad would happen, but because of how it would look. Would people stare at me and think I had no friends? As a teenager, that probably seemed like the worst thing in the world. All you want is to be liked and you sure as hell don’t want to seem like a loner even if you know you have friends that aren’t physically present.

College was a different story. Maybe it’s because I went to school in New York City that venturing all by my lonesome didn’t seem so weird. You blend in easier and people aren’t paying so close attention to what you’re doing to even think twice if you’re a friend or not. It could have also been that I was a lot more comfortable in my own skin. I had formed a frame of mind that allowed me to truly be my own best friend. It's not an isolation tactic. Instead, it's a deeply personal understanding of who you are which helps your self-esteem, as well as your relationships with other people. Either way, I was a skeptic to try being my own date at first, but I found that each time you do it, it gets easier and easier.

I remember the first time I stepped out alone was a CD signing by a band I really liked at the time. The event fell during the middle of the week at a really odd time. It didn’t help that the one friend that shared my love for the band had gone to school hours away from home. I knew I had the free time to go and I would have given just about anything to meet the band members, but was it worth being by myself? Were seeing other girls and their friends going to make me feel bad? I decided that I didn’t care. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I knew I’d regret passing up, so I did it. I traveled there, waited three hours, got my album insert signed, and went on my way. I spent practically the entire trip home smiling. The day was one to remember, and I can't fathom thinking that it almost didn't happen because I cared about what people thought. It probably sounds like a simple occurrence, but it felt like taking a really big leap into something I never once had the confidence to do.

Since then, I’ve done all sorts of things by myself. I’ve gone out to eat, I’ve visited museums, and I’ve even gone to concerts. I’m not saying the experience is more enjoyable than it would be if you had your friends with you, but it’s still a good time and worth it in the end. Also, the feeling you get from that type of independence is so freeing that you have to try it to honestly know how it feels. The more you look around, the more you’ll realize that nobody is paying attention to what you’re doing. Even if someone seems to be staring at you, chances are they’re not judging you, they’re just wishing they could be as independent as you. So the next time you want to see that movie that just opened in theaters Friday night that no one else wants to watch, go see it. If you’re craving that delicious slice of Pizza from around the block on a day nobody else is free, go get it. I promise you’ll feel more stupid for letting the experience pass by than you ever would for standing in a room by yourself.