I catch myself saying "Ugh, I don't like her, she's just kind of crazy," a lot and every time I say it I feel horrible.
I feel like I'm turning into that petty, inconsiderate friend who cares too much about a boy or money or her tan. So when I started feeling tension with my mom, my boyfriend, his brother, and my best friend.
After a few days of trying to make all three people happy myself not included. I focused completely on work. I didn't need sleep I could work instead, write some articles, send four paragraphs of text complaining to my boyfriend, maybe watch a movie with some friends. It was pretty fun but I was exhausted.
I went to my mom probably two weeks after my friend had gone camping and confessed to her all the issues she knew were bubbling. She said to me those are some pretty inconsiderate friends huh. I said, "Yes, you understand. How can they expect me to do all these things to keep them happy. I can't hang out with them and afford it at the same time." Then it hit me I knew exactly what my mom was talking about.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, finish reading this article, and if you still don't get it just stop calling successful girls local, basic, boring, annoying, plain, overwhelming, crazy. If you think I'm being obnoxious, politically correct, a snowflake, a libtard even, I've learned from successful women and men in my life that monetizing your personal capital is the only path to success. You don't have to be a genius to be successful you just need a supportive network.
There are three types of currency in the professional workforce. Time, money, and productivity. In my gap year, I've realized that in order for me to practice self-care I need to find a professional and personal balance between the three. For my gap year, I worked as a nanny.
Which means I got compensated for taking care of children that weren't mine. In the US there's no federally mandated as paid family leave. So having children becomes part of a sacrifice we make of our time. That's why the strong relationships I have with successful women are focused on financial independence, not wealth.
In our society however that sacrifice of time and therefore money comes from the woman. That's why women are statistically paid so much less than men for the same work. Even if a woman works full-time she's less likely to be to attend business trips, attend extra work meetings or invest more of her time and money into her own career.
Thus it often becomes the responsibility of the husband to continue to work and make more money. This is done with the goal that when they get married and have children they can be providers for their family. However, that's the basis of income and equality that what feminist to ardently resist and actively protest. It's the idea that a woman is responsible and therefore has to sacrifice her time and her money for her child while man only has to sacrifice his top his money and not his time.
As a nanny, I got to experience, a version of, paid family leave and be like. For example, when I first started to babysit I got paid by the hour. I get paid about what an entry-level job is.
Thanks to my support system, my mom and my connections in Madison I, was able to save and make enough money through work and scholarships to comfortably pay for my first year at college. I started babysitting because I love tennis. I am good enough to teach little kids I've spent my summers making spending money for the rest of the school year. I saw that as a flaw in my family as one more thing that sucked because we didn't have as much money as my friends.
Then I saw that was a choice by my mom to show me I'm never stuck I can always work my way out of anything if I keep my friends and family close.
So if I where a person responsible for the birth of a child how would I react right now. I would speak with my partner and we would make the decision together. Why am I in that position? Because my mother and I are financially independent of men. Period.
Even as the stupid Grammarly software I use, to hide the fact that I'm a girl with terrible grammar and can't spell, I know that I am competent enough for jobs that I would not otherwise consider for myself. For example, my mom's financial independence let her have the children and home and career she wanted.
That's why I think it is important to say we are pregnant because, in fact, you are both responsible for the life inside of your stomach. Whether you make a decision to keep the child or not, it is it for some reason the woman's fault and her decision. It is absolutely ridiculous that a man is allowed to ditch his child because he doesn't feel like praising him if a woman were to do the same she received far more criticism and ridicule. For example, Stormi Daniels is a very public extreme of this. She is extremely provocative and often seen as a liberal icon a feminist sham or a bad woman.
That's why financial aid exists and that's why I think those programs should be expanded all the way to paid family leave. If we're going to support marginalized groups to further their education or even just survive I think we also need to focus on professional middle and working-class women who otherwise might be more successful.
Look at all of Forbes or a financial website or magazine and you see young, powerful women capitalizing on makeup, clothes, interior design, art anything you can think of. Right now everyone is trying to understand the power of the internet to network and create yourself as a brand. Depending on what platform you choose you seem to cement your professional prospects.
Anyway, I'm rambling now. That's another thing my mom and boyfriend and probably all my friends think I need to work on. I honestly cannot sleep unless every idea is out of my brain. Since I can't sleep in capitalizing on it. This summer and this year I chose jobs I could do projects at.
When I babysit I often bring my computer or phone to read or write. Shows like Black Mirror or Grace and Frankie display this kind of new wave, grassroots feminism as the way forward for women in business. It seems like the only way for women to make it in any career. The reason is that women have more access to equal pay to equal work.
I'm personally offended and if you agreed with one word in this article you should be personally offended if someone says they don't like Kamala Harris, or Ruth Badger Ginsburg, or Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, Elizabeth Warren, Tammy Balwin, and Hillary Clinton. All of these women have one thing in common.
The ability to connect, they are leaders in their field because they can connect.
After the 2016 election, I was on a mission my world became an underwater obstacle course. Filled with gaps I had to fill. At first, it was the achievement gap I personally hate the media more than anything in the world, growing up regardless of what women I knew and loved told me I was ugly.
As I got more mature I've received comments from people I love and respect without judgment. I take their comment on my looks, my demeanor, my activities and a sign of their love. It is important to make the people feel closest to feel special because of that's the only way to show someone you love them. I make it my goal today to have influenced the media in some professional capacity. Like the delicate, unfunny, female I am I love Samatha Bee and some old Jon Stewart or hell even some Ellen really gets me motivated.
My new Netflix favorites are Black Mirror-like I mentioned before those are good if you think you use your phone too much. Grace and Frankie are wonderful because there are two age gaps. Grace and Frankie are two older women with gay husbands who come out can get married. The two wives are a mess due to years of either neglect or over consoling.
Their children and husbands are all put into free fall because they simply cannot find any control. This is when communication stops and abuse begins.
Abuse begins with any kind of obsession. For example, it could be seemingly harmless like, my mom had lots of house plants when she was raising me, that must be how she gaged her independence. Another one could be as simple as I need a good enough job that I can eventually stop working that where my mom is at now that she's an empty nester. Having working mothers who're maternal instinct has been modified to be entrepreneurship.
People have laughed and laughed at the Kardashians for years and years because they seemed spoiled and entitled. While their personalities haven't changed they have changed the standard of living for all working mothers by marketing and selling their brand through social media.
When Kendall tried to pander with her Pepsi commercial people saw right through it but when she advertises through social media or the modern market place, she is considered desirable and ideal. This is true with any of the Kardashian's they are their own brand companies have to come to them to ask them for work, not the other way around. When men or people are mean on social media they are only attempting to sway the opinions of women to that women can never receive equal pay for equal work.
They will always be an 'E-girl' with a more famous boyfriend or some crazy, rambly, entitled teenager who doesn't like school and will end up broke and alone forever. So yeah I don't care if you think I work too hard, or if you think I'm aiming too high. I want to be as successful as I can in my career and in my life so I am going to stop listening to people I do not trust.
There are honestly so many feminist rabbit holes I would love to delve into. I really want to focus on self-care but I know the first step to empowering a woman no matter how poor is to invest time and money in them. I'm going to practice some self-care and some proper time management. I'm going to watch some interviews by David Letterman, an amazing example of a feminist man, make myself a snack.
Then, after work, I'll go hang out with some of my girlfriends about this later maybe on a boat or at a pool or just somewhere safe away from the judging eyes of people.
So if you skipped to the end, there are many things women and people can do if they communicate and work together. For example, Donna Pinciotti and her mother, Midge along with Kitty Forman's family go through very different but very relatable life challenges.
The men in that show are good examples of misogynistic men supporting a woman they love. Thanks to her predecessors like Mary Tyler Moore or the men from M*A*S*H that reacted to end the televising of war because people didn't like the thought of their young sons lives being auctioned off for a better life.
So this year regardless of your political views speak to the women you love and trust in your life. Find out their issues and their adversity and find out what you can do. I've noticed that successful women are good leaders because they are good communicators.
I am part of the Next Generation Service Corps and it took me becoming part of the cohort, seeing the financial stability I now enjoy to know that a true leader of my generation will be a good storyteller. After my boyfriend came home and I was awarded a position in my cohort, I began listening to a podcast by two crazy, addicts with piercings and tattoos. These two women are named Karen Killgariff and Georgia Hardstark.
They're both crazy successful but have had several career paths ruined by insecurity, addiction, and mental illness. They often argue that a holistic approach is needed that there isn't one good way to live your life. They somehow communicated it to me in two months with 100 podcasts, an audiobook and complete honesty I saw that they were able to be successful through their failures. That's something my mom probably tried to show me like 19 million times in different ways. Since my epiphany, after finishing the book, I wish I had more diverse exposure to people and places and jobs of real people's experiences of becoming a happy person.
My transition has been snail pace compared to most but I finally feel like I have the confidence and power to be successful beyond high school. I did this by investing in myself. It wasn't very expensive and I have hobbies, habits, and responsibilities, I hope to continue and give advice about as I grow older and hopefully wiser.