All of us in relationships in our early years of college have probably gotten "the talk" from a friend or a parent. "These are supposed to be the best four years of your life, you're missing out if you're in a relationship!" or "You're not getting the full experience." I'm writing this article to touch on what it really means to get the full experience, and why being independent in your relationship can ultimately lead to the famous: best four years of your life.
First of all, I want to start off by making five important points:
1. Relationships in college should not be complicated.
2. You should not allow your college relationship to stop you from doing anything you've always wanted to do whether it's planned or spontaneous.
3. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should be supportive rather than restraining.
4. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should make you feel free rather than trapped.
5. There is no reason for excessive fighting over stupid things in a college relationship.
Now, let me refer back to point number one. Relationships in college have absolutely no reason to be complicated. I sit back and I watch so many couples my own age drive each other insane, and it is such a waste of time. One of the most important thing to make sure of is if you are proceeding in a college relationship, is that your significant other is not causing you stress, but rather provides relief. One of the most beautiful things about a college relationship is having someone that fulfills the spot of a best friend that you love and care for...and also like kissing. Having someone that you can go to at the end of the day that truly cares about how hard your accounting test was, and who can genuinely laugh about your story of tripping over a rock on campus...and falling in front of a campus tour is what it's all about.
Point number two is something I abide by, and I think everyone in a college relationship should. No matter how important my relationship is to me, I have a binding promise with myself that I will never allow it to stop me from doing things I have dreamed of doing for years, days, or minutes. The most significant part of this point is, nonetheless, that your boyfriend or girlfriend should support you in all of these things! I will study abroad. I will go on spring break trips. I will go to parties alone. I will travel around the country. I will make a ton of new friends during my four years here. I will have nights I can't remember, and I will have nights I’ll remember forever. But the best part about this is that I have someone who wants and encourages me to do all of these things. I have someone who wants me to look back and be able to check everything off my bucket list -- and he'll want to hear about all of it whether he can relate to the experience or not.
To wrap it up, all of these points fall under one category: independence. It is possible to be independent in your relationship. You should feel like you are able to make your own choices, be yourself, and do all that you have ever dreamed of doing. We're young, and yeah we might be in love, but that doesn't mean we're not getting the full experience. We can be in love AND be independent. We can have a boyfriend or girlfriend that helps us go above and beyond all that we hoped to achieve in these four years. At the end of the day, being completely ridiculous and losing respect for yourself on Saturday night, or waking up in a stranger’s bed on Sunday morning -- those things aren't what complete the "full experience." It's knowing who you are, and doing the things you want to do, with the people/person you want to do it with. Those are the things that will give you the best and most memorable four years of your life. Because after all, you've got to be able to remember in order to make memories!
