Feminism, by definition, is "advocating social, political and all other rights of women equal to those of men." And yet, this is not what feminism has become known as in our society. Feminists believe in the idea of all women having a "choice," and that women deserve everything that a man does. But these feminist ideas have gained a negative connotation. The “choice” that feminists have fought for has become the idea that you can choose to be a feminist (but god-forbid you don't choose to be a feminist), or you can choose to be a CEO but not a stay-at-home mom, because we have worked too hard to get past that social structure. Feminists have fought hard to help women realize that they do have a choice in what they do with their lives and that they can do anything a man does, and yet the feminists of today's culture make that "choice" very limited.
If you are not a feminist, people judge you.
If you actually want to be a great mom and wife, people question it why you don’t aim for something better.
If you want to be a CEO but truly believe in your own capabilities and think gender has nothing to do with it, you are considered to be naive.
And if you are a man, you are not discriminated against in any of the ways that a woman is discriminated against.
These are the ideas that feminism has grown into today and this is why I do not consider myself a feminist. I believe in people working hard to climb the corporate ladder -- not being held back or encouraged by gender -- and I believe in all people being treated as humans. The world is not so black and white that things can only be one way. First of all, men and women do technically have equal civil rights. Colleges are no longer separated based on gender, although there are still schools separated by gender, attendance to these are left up to the student and not to the administration. Women are not the only ones who are sexually assaulted, many men are also victimized.
So while feminists are so quick to act against any discrimination or mistreatment of women, they should really think and act against any discrimination or mistreatment of people in general. If a woman wants to stay home and raise her kids, that's great. It's also great if a man wants to stay home to do the same. In this day and age, those are decisions that an individual makes, not what society is telling them to do. Feminists love the idea that woman have the choice now, that they didn't have years ago. And yet the choices they give woman are nearly as limited as they were decades ago. They've just evolved to being something equal to what a man is doing.
I have grown up being told that I am capable of anything, and I truly believe that. But that won't come without hard work. As Beyoncé said in "Formation" "I dream it, I work hard, I grind 'til I own it”. I’ve had people question why I am a woman but not a feminist, but I haven’t questioned myself. I’ve been asked, "if you're not a feminist and you want to be a CEO, how do you think you’ll get there?"
Well I’ll tell you one thing, if I think I should be handed the position over an equally qualified man so that things are more “equal,” then I don’t want the position at all. I want a position I have worked for and I know I’m capable of getting it on my own, not based on gender, race, or anything else. If I don’t get something, I will not assume it’s because I’m a woman, I’ll assume it was because I could do something better, and then I’ll work even harder to do so. There will always be people in this world who fight hard against the ability of women, who doubt what we’re capable of and who will in fact discriminate us. It is true that women still only get paid 79 cents for each dollar a man is paid, but there are other factors that play into this. And if we're being honest, there are differences between most men and women, things based on genetic makeup that make us coherently different, and this is okay. We do not need to be completely equal in the sense that you can't even tell us apart.
It is okay to be different from men. It is okay for women to be better at some things and men to be better at some other things. This is naturally going to happen because it is who we inherently are. It should not automatically mean that society is unequal and that equality should not be handed out. First of all, equality needs to be earned, through hard work. It needs to earn respect, credibility and that’s in turn how attitudes and ideals will change. It only takes time to change how a society thinks, and we are doing that one hard-working successful man or woman at a time.
I am not anti-feminist. I am simply non-feminist. I am not ignorant, uneducated, or unaware of what is going on in the society around me. If anything, I'm more aware. I am not jumping on the bandwagon of being a feminist just because my genetic makeup says that I should. So while I am a woman, but not a feminist, I do believe in human rights. I believe in a true choice for everyone. I choose to do what I want because that is what I want to do, not because society tells me it is right or wrong, or that it shouldn't be what a woman does, but because it is who I am as a person, as an individual, as a human. This does not make me uneducated or ignorant.
Women should not be expected to do everything a man does, and men should not be expected to do everything a woman does. This means both genders have equal access to education. Both men and women are respected by peers, colleagues and superiors. Both are treated as humans, not men or not women. Both are equal based on the amount of hard work and effort they put into the things they do. All people are treated as just that, people. And all of those people work hard and do everything they are capable of to achieve their goals.
