I'm a college-aged girl, and i'm not ready for a relationship.
Everyone around me seems to be finding their person and settling down. I've had a few people over the last couple of years that I've been close to dating but every time I get close to that "boyfriend/girlfriend" status my chest gets tight and I back out.
Something always goes wrong and at the end of the day, that person I was supposed to date stays the person I'm talking to and for some weird reason, I feel nothing but relief.
I've wondered lately why I'm so stuck in the talking phase and can never get myself to date anyone. The idea of commitment scares the hell out of me. And it's not because I don't want to be faithful or be with only one person. It's the fact that the next person I date could be the person I marry and that's absolutely terrifying to me.
I'm not ready for a relationship, because while it would be awesome to have someone to confide in, compliment me, spend the night with, and really love... I'm not ready to let my independence go.
I'm not ready to worry about someone and constantly tell them what I'm doing. I'm not ready to have to think about someone other than myself. Most importantly, I'm not ready to get hurt.
Relationships have some awesome things about them, but just knowing there's a chance of getting hurt reminds me that I'm not ready.
For now, I will enjoy being single. I'll casually talk to people and find qualities I like and don't like in those people and hopefully one day I'll be ready to settle down and give my heart to someone that sees the good and the bad that comes with me.
I'm not ready for a relationship, and that's okay. Because at the end of the day, I'm not getting hurt, I'm enjoying my life, my friends, and my freedom.