"So," my friend said happily, scooting closer to me on the couch, "You graduate next year. When do you think you and Blake will get engaged?"
Wait, what?
I was offended. It wasn't that she was probing for personal information, or that she was automatically assuming that Blake and I are going to spend our entire lives together. It was the fact that this was one of many moments where well-meaning friends and relatives were insisting that I make wedding plans now that I am completing my degree.
Why are the people closest to me more concerned that I have no idea what I'll wear on my wedding day than that I don't know how to negotiate a salary with a future employer? How can it be that my relatives want to know where I want to get married, forgetting that I'm not even sure what state I want to live in after I graduate?
Quite simply, it has become all too common that young women are interrogated about weddings and the number of kids they want to have instead of being asked about other priorities. Like career goals or future travel plans.
I choose not to prepare for an engagement for the same reason that I chose not to live with my boyfriend while going to college: I'm busy exploring other elements of my life right now. This is the time for me to delve into my major, to meet new people, and to discover what my passions are.
It's not that I haven't found the right person; I've found someone whom I can truly call my partner. It's just that we have decided to support each other and pursue our personal and professional goals before entering into a legal contract together. I enjoy every moment I spend with my boyfriend, but I have also allowed myself to work two jobs, take classes full time, and live with one of my best friends. I have time right now to travel, work, and enjoy all the benefits that Oregon State University has provided for me.
If I had decided to live with him during college, I wouldn't be able to sit on the floor in my bedroom surrounded by twinkle lights talking with my best friends about life until three in the morning. If I was planning a wedding right now, I would miss huge opportunities because between wedding planning and passing upper division courses I wouldn't have time to network.
Now, I'm not saying that being engaged is bad, and I'm not trying to convince you to break the lease with your significant other. I'm just saying that, at this point, I have other things on my mind besides romance and a sparkling diamond ring that means forever and always.
