I have always jumped into relationships incredibly fast. I fall hard for people and I move very quickly to take them off the market before someone else comes around. With this, I never take the time to truly get to know someone before I enter this commitment with them. There is so much to learn about someone before you date them, but I always believed you were supposed to figure it out as the time went on. I never realized this is an extremely naïve way of thinking and this is why many of my relationships did not work out. Beginning this new relationship was scary for me but there is one factor that has changed. This time, I’m dating my best friend.

With him, I don’t have to pretend or try and show out to gain his attention. I’ve slowly gained his affection over the years we have been friends. He knows me inside and out. He knows what makes me laugh, what can make me cry, my favorite foods, he’s met my family and even extended family. He knows and shares many of my friends. He has come to know my faults and my mistakes and still stick around. There is nothing more calming to me in a relationship than to have no surprises and that’s what I have with him. It’s just easy.

With him, he’s seen my past boyfriends come and go, he’s held his tongue about how he feels about them because he knew I wouldn’t listen either way. He’s seen me be hurt and still stick it out with other guys and He knows my tolerance for pain is just not like it used to be. He treads carefully where others have stomped through and he treats me with respect, courtesy and care. I have baggage and he helps me carry it. He works with me like he always has. I have always had a spot in his heart and he has in mine. There is a mutual trust and for once I haven’t worried about a boyfriend hurting me. It’s just easy.

My dating rap sheet has been a line of very selfish people who push their ideas and their needs before my own. No, I’m not saying my needs are any more important but they are equally important and sometimes, just sometimes, they are a little more important. There are no words for how far I will go to make my significant others life the easiest it can be. I am a selfless person in general but he doesn’t let me take on too much. He puts in the work; he plans dates even when he says he’s no good at it. He listens to me bitch for hours about people he doesn’t know and he’s as passionate about it as I am. He asks me if I need anything like 3 times a day. Yes, these are small instances of kindness and care but give me a break, it hasn’t been that long. Plus, that is more effort than my boyfriends of one or two years put in. Like I said, it’s just easy.

Sure there are strange changes in our transition from friends to more than friends. Is it strange when he smacks my butt when I walk through an opened door, or when he kisses me in front of our group of friends, or when he holds my hand in front of my family, or when he introduces me as his girlfriend? Of course it is! But it’s the good kind of strange, the kind that knocks the wind out of you and gives you butterflies and makes your heart race and your face split in the most awkward way. Sometimes I worry that I could have ruined a perfectly good friendship but I don’t feel like I’ve lost my friend in the slightest. I just think I’ve unlocked a new level in our relationship which only made it stronger and more fun. Dating my best friend has made me happier than I thought I could be. So, to any girl who thinks there might be a spark there to go after it. It’s worth the risk to feel this good all the time.