You probably read the title of this article and thought, “Wow, this person sucks.”
Maybe I do suck – my mom says I don’t, but hey, mom’s lie sometimes.
Let’s take a moment and define selfish in the terms I’m speaking of. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be a decent human being – please continue to not belittle others, be grateful for opportunities given to you, say please and thank you, etc. However, what I am saying is that at this point in your life, you have to be the first person you think of when making decisions.
That being said, I recently made a pretty huge life decision.
I decided to pack up my comfortable life in Michigan, where I attended Michigan State University and where I’ve grown up my whole life, and move across the country to attend the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles.
And guess what? I took literally ZERO people into consideration when making this choice. It was all about me.
I’m aware that the above sentence kind of makes me sound like an asshole, but it was absolutely necessary that I did. I chose to only tell a handful of people that this was something I was considering and waited to tell the rest until I was absolutely sure I was doing it.
I got all of the usual questions:
- From my friends: “Why are you leaving us, don’t you like hanging out with us?”
- From my family: “Why do you want to be so far away from us?”
- From the guy in my life who happened to live in California: “Are you sure you aren't moving out here because of me?”
No, no, and (sorry for blasting you on the Internet), no. I mean this in the most loving of ways people in my life, I didn’t think of anyone at all.
I made a decision at a young age that I was never going to let other people stand in the way of my happiness. And to me, being happy means doing things that I love, and what I love is my work. I saw opportunity in California, an opportunity for learning, networking, starting my career – all things that are extremely important to me.
If I had taken other people into consideration, I would have probably never done this and left some incredible doors unopened. On the flip side, if I had moved out here for someone else, it would have clouded my judgments about what is best for me and my future, which was not what I wanted either.
Now fast-forward about seven weeks and I am so happy. Of course, I miss my friends and family back home, but I am confident that the distance isn’t going to keep us from loving one another. My school is everything I hoped it would be, I've networked with more influential people than I can count, I started working on a project that I want to turn into a career, I ended up doing makeup on a film set. (What?) But, this isn't an article to brag about all of my accomplishments, it's to show what great things can happen when you make a decision for you.
In fewer words, I’m creating the life I want for myself. Your early 20s are a crucial time in your life. You are making a lot of decisions, some of which will affect you for a few years to come. So do what is best for YOU.
They can be big decisions or little ones. I’m not encouraging everyone to move across the country, but if that’s what is best for you, do it.
Be selfish with your future, be selfish at work, be selfish with your emotions, be selfish with your time, and most importantly, be selfish about you.
The second you stop caring what other people think about you and your decisions is the second you start making the right ones. Set yourself up for the things you’ve always dreamed of and worry about the rest later. I’m in the process of chasing my dreams and let me tell you, it's pretty fucking great.
Craziest part? I didn’t get here because I did what everyone else wanted me to do. I got here because I did what I wanted to do.
