So here’s the thing.
I never had a boyfriend, or any sort of love interest for that matter, until my senior year of high school. My friends would gasp in amazement at my contrast to their own male affinities. I was told to put myself out there, to try to flirt, was poked and prodded with the old, “but you have to like someone! You can tell me, I won’t tell anyone, I swear!” Because, let’s face it, what’s a classic textbook teenage girl without her dreamy schoolgirl crush to be the inspiration for the doodles on her notebook or the object of her attention in class?
Well, I can tell you firsthand what this hybrid species of adolescent female is. She is driven, she is successful, she is intelligent, and she is independent. The doodles in her notebook have been substituted for the notes which she will obsess over, memorize, and then skillfully and confidently utilize on her big test. Her attention is diverted away from typical Boyish Charm sitting there in the second row, and she is instead listening intently to a lesson which she genuinely finds more interesting. She has dreams bigger than elaborate promposals, awkward Chilis dates, and being noticed in the stands by the boy on the field. She is not embarrassed by the social abnormality which is suggested by her relationship status. She embraces her independence, and all that comes along with it. She’ll still enjoy social events, school dances, and football games, however, and doesn’t require a male escort for before or after said events, even when all of her friends have them. And when it is time for her intelligence to be put to test at school the next week, she will not feel her courage waiver, and she will not experience self-doubt. For she knows that while a social life may seem to be imperative at her age, she would much rather worry about the development of her mind than her ability to cooperate with the opposite gender.
And what does this girl receive in exchange of her social life? The exceptional grades for which she labored for, the pride of improving herself, and -- in most cases -- admittance into her dream college or university.
When she is rewarded with these achievements, she may later reflect back, as I myself am doing right now, and realize something. She earned these triumphs all by herself. The diploma placed in her hands on graduation day is the result of nothing but her own drive and dedication to her schooling. It’s something which no boy could have given her, no matter how handsome, or talented, or athletic, or charming. At the end of the day, the support of others is nice, but she is really the only person whom she can truly rely on for her success.
Though I now find myself past this social stage as a college freshman, I cannot help but feel empowered by this realization. Nothing is more important than an education, and no one should present themselves to someone else as so. To any young girl reading this, I want you to know that the right boy will be encouraging of you as an individual, and will want to see you accomplish any goal you set, especially those of academic circumstance. Similarly, there is no boy who is more deserving of your attention than your education. Take your future into your hands, don’t be afraid to act on your own, take comfort in your ability to make achievements this way, find satisfaction in the fact that your accomplishments will belong solely to you. They cannot and will not be taken away by the people who are threatened by the fact that you are different. Know that you are not different, but driven, and inspired, and on your way to things that are so much better than high school.
I’d like to share a quote from first lady Michelle Obama, who is currently making her own efforts to encourage girls to pursue education via her Let Girls Learn campaign. In a September interview, she states, “There is no boy at this age that is cute enough or interesting enough to stop you from getting your education... If I had worried about who liked me and who thought I was cute when I was your age, I wouldn’t be married to the president of the United States.”
As I am just beginning to find my own successes in college, I cannot help but agree with this statement. Take a chance, and own and accept your singleness, you never know just how far it may take you. Honestly, who needs a boy when you have your GPA to keep you warm at night?
Am I right, ladies?
