I hope you experience failure.
Really, I'm not being mean when I tell you this.
As a student in engineering, a notoriously competitive and rigorous field (though I am by no means saying that other college tracks are not competitive or rigorous), I have had countless classmates and friends say how afraid they are of failure. Afraid of not getting a good enough grade, of not being picked for an internship they applied for, of being below the curve, and so on. This fear leads to anxiety and stress.
And, for what?
What happens when you fail?
What is the absolute worst thing that can occur?
When I ask this, there is a pause. A second to rack the brain for an answer. An answer usually along the lines of "Well, I won't succeed."
Actually, failure will make you more successful as a person. Here's how.
1. Failure teaches you to be resilient.
Each time you experience failure, as with anything else, it becomes a little less scary. Each time you fail, you build up a bit of immunity as you realize that life still goes on afterward, largely uninterrupted -- your beliefs, your goals, and your hopes are probably still the same. You are still you. As this immunity continues to build, each successive failure will affect your life a little bit less. This builds confidence in your character and bravery in your decisions. I highly recommend you watch this TED Talk on the importance of bravery in your actions. There's a reason for the saying in Silicon Valley that no one takes you seriously until you've had at least one failed start-up. If you want to make a mark in this world, you've got to be brave.
2. Failure will stretch your boundaries.
Stemming from your increasing resilience, the boundaries of what you are willing to risk will increase when the fear of failure shrinks. You'll push your limits farther, ultimately making you more adventurous, more driven and more likely to accomplish something really, truly special. The limits you had self-imposed will break down, allowing your dreams and the actions you take to pursue them to become grander than you had ever imagined.
3. Failure is a valuable teaching tool.
Who learns more, the person who learned how to do something right or the person who learned how to not do something wrong? I would say the latter. The person who failed and fixed their mistake will understand the why and the how about the right answer, much more so than the person who did something correctly from the beginning. Failure teaches you what you need to change in order to be right the next time and gives you concrete goals to accomplish to ultimately be successful (namely, figure out what went wrong the first time).
4. Failure is motivational.
I can't lie to you and say that failure doesn't hurt. It does. It stings. It stems from the fear of being alone (how often have you thought "Am I the only one who doesn't understand this?") and the fear of falling behind. Being alone does hurt. But, the failure will motivate you to work harder, to put together a plan, and to make sure that you won't fail next time. It puts you in the position of the underdog, which actually gives you an advantage because with something to fight for, you will be more driven to succeed than the person who has always met success.
So yes, I hope you fail. I hope you fail early and you fail often until failure is no longer scary, until you are ready to be risky and relentless in pursuit of your goals.
