Dear Future,

Growing up is a scary thing. Life isn't full of guarantees, and as much as we try to plan out our future, life will always get in the way.

I wish I could wake up on Sunday mornings and lay on the couch watching TV with a bowl of Captain Crunch, cuddling with my mom instead of sorting through all the homework and papers I avoided that weekend.

I'm 20 years old. When I heard the age '20' in high school, I thought that was old. I considered that age to be that of an adult, because you would not longer be a teenager and would have to now say "I'm in my twenties." I'm a sophomore in college, halfway through the best four years of my life, still as clueless as when I started. I'm trying to plan my life, but planning to have a husband, three kids, and a job that I love (that hopefully pays six figures) just isn't something I can mark in my calendar. It's hard to make decisions of what will benefit you the most, because college is full of a lot of mistakes. It's hard to know what will benefit you in the long run, or just for the time being.

I'm scared of all the responsibility I am gaining. College lecture halls don't teach you all you need to know for the rest of your life, and learning as I grow is something I will need to get used to. I don't know how to pay phone bills, pay taxes, or do any of that 'adult' stuff. It's scary to think that there is an entire world outside of my college campus. I am so accustomed to being surrounded with people the same age as me, barely getting by, and being just as scared as I am to grow up and become apart of the 'real world'.

I wish I could ignore all responsibilities for as long as possible and have a guaranteed future. It's not about being lazy, or scared, it's about the uncertainty that life hits us with every day. It's about no longer depending on anyone, but depending on myself. It's up to me to make my future as close as to perfect as I can get it.