When we were growing up all we wanted was to be a ‘big kid.’ We wanted to be able to do things on our own without our parents controlling us every minute. It seemed so unfair that we couldn’t do what we wanted, when we wanted to. All we wanted to do was to make our own decisions and be our own parents. Whenever we told our mom and dad that we wanted to be a big kid when we were younger they said, “no you don’t, you need to stay young.” I never believed them and at times I even thought they were crazy. I spent 18 years wishing this. Now I just want to be a kid again.
To be honest, I don’t want to grow up anymore. I want to go back to when my mom and dad would go shopping and make dinner for me. I wish I could go back to coming home and having my parent’s there to take care of me when I’m sad or just need a hug. The worst part is when I am sick and they are not there to take care of me. Now that I live six hours away from home and don’t have an adult to take care of me, all I want it to be a kid again.
I should have listened to my parents when I was younger because they were right when they said you don’t want to grow up just yet. Let’s face it, being a grownup kind of sucks. Especially when we are in between being an actual adult but still a young one. What do I mean by that? Well in college, I still kind of rely on my parents. I am blessed that they are still paying for some of my stuff like my education, groceries and insurance while I pay for going out to eat, clothes and some bills. It is great that they are still helping me out but I know that in only a year and a half I will be completely cut off. This is one of the reasons I want to be a kid again.
Thinking about being an actual adult with a big girl job is terrifying. This is a job that we worked so hard to get. There will be no more going out on a week night because we are going to have to work an eight to five the next day. Yes, we will still be able to have fun but it won’t be the same as when we were at the age we are now. When we finally have that job we actually have to keep it for more than a few months, unlike jobs that we get when we are in high school. On top of that we have to wear work clothes. That just sounds miserable –– slacks, a nice blouse and coat? I don’t want to give up wearing my over sized t-shirt and yoga pants every single day.
Then we are going to start getting married and having kids. I already have many friends that are engaged, getting married and having kids. I, for one, can barely think about even being prepared for that. Getting married and having kids are two things that I am really looking forward to, but it is slightly terrifying knowing that it will probably happen within the next 10 years. We are going to have to be stable enough to have a family, provide for them and live comfortably.
When I was home over Christmas break, I kept asking my parents if I could just live at home for the rest of my life. Sadly the answer was a no. Adulting can be hard. Especially when we are growing but still trying to keep some of our youth. I know that one day I will have to accept the fact that I am growing up; however, I still wish I could go back to when my parents took care of me. I wish I hadn't grown up so fast. I wish I could go back to when I lived with my parents. I wish I didn’t have to have so many responsibilities. When it comes down to it, I have to accept the fact that I am growing up, even though I wish I could be a kid again.
