Around this time three years ago, the main source of anxiety in my life was attributed to choosing which school I’d spend the next several years attending. It was pretty much the only topic of conversation. One of my best friends lived a few towns over, and even though we didn’t see each other on the daily, we still talked daily.

One particular day, we were both stressing about applying to schools and touring schools and how much we despised all of the pressure that was being put on us. And from that day until the day that we both committed to a college, we had what we like to call our “unspoken pact” that we wouldn’t talk about schools until we were sure of where we wanted to go.

Skip ahead four months and she calls me in and elated frenzy to tell me that she committed to the University of Rhode Island, the same school that I was committing to the very next day. We were both shocked at first, but neither one of us really questioned it. We both had heard the stories of life-long friends going to the same college as best friends and then graduating as strangers, but we were determined to make it work. And it has.

There’s a lot of negativity around the concept of going to the same college as someone you’re already close with. We were told that we wouldn’t be able to branch out and grow into our own people, and that we’d resent each other by the end of it all. But that’s about the farthest thing from what has happened, and I’m going to tell you just a few of the things that have worked for us, and how it’s made our college experience even better.

There’s plenty of room to do your own thing.

College opens up so many opportunities to pursue what you’re already passionate about and what you’ve yet to realize what you’re interested in. She joined a sorority, and I joined a few clubs and organizations. We both seized the experiences our school offers us and were able to make our own experiences and our own friends from them.

You do NOT have to live with each other.

I love my best friend, but I knew living with her our first year of college would be the beginning of the end of our friendship. We get along extremely well, but we’re pretty much opposites. We made another one of our pacts, and agreed that we wouldn’t live with each other at least until our junior year if we felt like it. It’s already the end of our junior year, and we still won’t be living with each other our senior year.

Schedules conflict and can make seeing each other difficult.

This seems like kind of a bummer, but it makes the time you spend with your best friend all the more special. During freshman and sophomore year, we dedicated specific days and times for lunches and dinners so we could see each other. There are some weeks where we spend 4 out of 7 of the days together, and then there are some months where I only see her 2 times. It’s all about finding a balance and time for each other, that way you won’t get sick of each other.

Your friends are their friends and vice versa.

One of the coolest parts about being at the same school as my best friend is the surplus of friends that we both have now. We’re able to fall into each other’s friend groups extremely easily, because they already have heard a lot about us. There have been too many times where we’ll meet people separately and then realize we’re both friends with the same person and we hadn’t even realized. It makes walking around campus a lot more fun, and gives the whole school a more home-like feeling.

You get to share your new life experiences with each other.

Seeing each other succeed and becoming adults is an unexpected delight. Helping each other get ready for the “real world” and celebrating each other’s wins is really gratifying when you experience it first hand.

There’s a little bit of home close by when you need it.

I’m lucky enough to have one of my “3 AM friends” close to me at all times. She’s there when I need advice, when I need a hug, or when I just need someone to drive around aimlessly and distract me. She’s the part of home and the part of myself that helps ground me when college stress overwhelms me. We’re not afraid to call each other out on the BS that can cloud our minds. She helps remind me who I am, where I’ve been, and what’s yet to come—for the both of us.

Going to the same college as your best friend can be one of the most gratifying decisions you make. It’s all about honesty; knowing what you need and knowing what your friend needs. My college experience has been that much more special having her by my side for all my achievements, failures, and adventures. It’s strengthened our friendship, and I wouldn’t change a thing.