Many times I have mentioned the fact that going to school at Washington State University was a no-brainer for me. I only applied to one school, and that was it. I knew that that was where I was meant to be, and I was very confident in that.
As the countdown to actually leaving for school went from months, to weeks, to days, however, I became increasingly more hesitant in my decision to be five hours away from home. Never had I been away from my family for more than a week at a time, so the thought of being five hours away, practically in another state, seemed terrifying to me, the closer to the day I left became.
The day before I left for school, I spent the day packing up my room. I was home alone the majority of the day, and sitting in the silent emptiness, putting my life into boxes, as I sobbed and sobbed, I wondered how I would ever possibly be able to leave the familiarity of my home.
The next morning, it was even worse. I sat in the back of my packed car, watching all the familiarity of my surroundings disappear farther and farther behind me.
Then, the worst part of all, the moment I had played over in my head so many times, and dreaded since I arrived, was watching my parents leave my dorm, the door closing behind them. In that moment, a rush of fear and anxiety unlike any other I have ever felt, washed over me, as it sunk in that now the familiarity of being surrounded by my family and friends that I have had forever, were not going to be physically with me in my daily life anymore.
Everything was different. I lived on a completely other side of the state now. I was living in a tiny dorm instead of my home now. I no longer had the security of having my friends and family nearby, but rather thousands of strangers all around me. I had more responsibilities than I had ever had in my life.
It did not take long for me to realize, however, that going away for college was the best decision that I could have possibly made for myself.
For the first time in my life, I was doing something solely for myself. I was doing something to better myself.
Not having my parents around to do things for me has shown me newfound responsibility. I have always been pretty responsible, but now, not having my parents to lean on to pick up the slack when I am being lazy, has made me even more so. Laundry, dishes, setting up my own appointments and getting to them, budgeting time and money, getting myself where I needed to be on time, and not having to tell my parents where I am or what I am doing, are all completely on me now. Many of these things I may have done at home, but it is different when you have no choice but to do these things while you are by yourself.
Being five hours away from home has forced me to become independent, since I can't just go home whenever I want to. I have learned to take care of what I need to on my own.
Also, I am getting to experience living in a place completely unlike where I am from. Home will always be home, but now I have another home here, too.
Plus, I have met so many amazing people from all over, that I know will be in my life for many years to come.
The biggest thing, though, is that it has allowed me to grow so much as a person, being away from home and in a new place, surrounded by new people. I was terrified that I would not be happy being away from everything I have grown accustomed to over the years, and the comfort in what is known and safe. It wasn't long before it became clear to me, that if you never jump outside of your comfort zone, you will miss out. In choosing to go away for school, I have grown up in so many ways, and I like the person I am becoming, and I am having the time of my life. If I had listened to my fear, I would have missed one of the best experiences of my life.
Life is not well experienced if you aren't at least a little bit scared or uncomfortable. You never know what you might be missing.
