Yes, you heard that right! I am not a Christian, and I have never been. All my life, I was raised in an atheist environment, although there was a slight touch of Buddhism pretty much everywhere I went since this religion plays a central role in the Vietnamese culture. Coming to the United States a few years back marked my very first exposure to the Christian faith. Overwhelming? Confused? Definitely.
A lot of people would probably find pleasure in watching my awkwardly making my way through the congregation towards the Eucharistic ministers, only to face the reality that I was not supposed to eat the “white thing” that they gave. Rest assured that I quickly picked up the habit of shaking my head vehemently whenever I found myself in front of the ministers, even though there exists a specific sign for the refusal of receiving communion that I obviously wasn’t aware of at that time.
Seeing how much I was struggling doing things that even 6-year-olds could do, you might be tempted to think: “why would you go to Mass if you are not familiar with the Christian traditions?” The short answer is: I was forced to go to Mass. The long, and more accurate answer is: because I enjoy going to church.
Notice how I said I was forced to go to Mass. It was a Catholic high school, and as far as I am concerned, high schools are not colleges. High-schoolers, especially those from small Catholic schools, don’t exactly have the freedom and the privileges that are only accessible to college students. But I have to say, if I hadn’t gotten my high school diploma at a Catholic school, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to experience another religion other than Buddhism and expand my view point on the world’s religion.
As time flew by, I start to feel a growing sense of familiarity towards the church. In all honesty, I have been to church more times during these last 3-4 years than I have ever gone to Buddhist temples all my life, and that only speaks to how big of a role church plays in my daily life. There is a church here at the college where I am going, and it has almost become my second dorm. I spend most of my time in there, studying, practicing music, or simply hanging out with my friends.
I especially love practicing cello when the emptiness of the church and the quietness of the night provides me with the perfect acoustic that I wouldn’t be able to get in a regular practice room. The sound of the cello with the holiness of the place touches my heart and my soul in ways that I have never experienced before. In moments like those, I feel like I am standing at the gate of Heaven, bathing in the light and love of God.
I feel like a true Christian.
