Long before Harry told Sally that men and women cannot be friends, people had been asking themselves that very same question for ages. Is it really possible for men and women to be friends without physical attraction getting in the way? For anyone who hasn’t seen "When Harry Met Sally," this is one of the main focal points of the iconic movie. Harry, along with a majority of people in today’s society, would say no. To put it as boldly as Harry did, men can’t be friends with women because the sex always gets in the way. However, the often considered innocent and naïve, Sally quickly disagrees and claims she has many straight and single male friends. Even though this movie isn’t necessarily the best example of a platonic male and female relationship since (spoiler alert) Harry and Sally do end up being a couple at the end of the movie, its concept is still an intriguing and somewhat controversial topic today.
Like Sally, I strongly believe that men and women can truly be friends without physical attraction becoming an issue. Coming from a girl who would say she has many close guy friends, I believe there are many benefits to being friends with someone of the opposite gender. For starters, the fact that they are of the opposite gender is exactly why it can be a good idea. They offer different opinions than what you would usually hear from your girl friends. I sometimes find it ironic that girls are always asking fellow girls for boy advice when they could just ask a boy, but that would just be too easy. For some girls, it is just difficult to start a friendship with a boy without giving them the wrong impression. However, I think this is a lot easier than girls make it out to be. If you’re worried about leading a boy on, then just don’t do anything that you would consider giving them the wrong idea. Not only would asking a guy friend instead of a girl for boy advice be more likely accurate, it would also reinforce that you two are just friends because now that boy knows you are interested or even dating someone else. Probably the biggest reason that boys and girls have miscommunications when it comes to romantic or platonic relationships is because everyone tends to over think everything these days. Treat your guy friend like you treat all of your other friends. So if you’re not flirting with your girl friends, then you probably shouldn’t flirt with the guy you’re trying to be just friends with. And at the same time, if your guy friend does something nice for you, don’t automatically assume they have feelings for you or that they have any other motive besides just wanting to be nice. If that still isn’t clear cut enough for you, then treat your guy friend like your cousin. Because I know none of you are worried about sending mixed messages to your relatives (or at least I surely hope not).
One other major reason why I think girls not only should, but need to have guy friends is because it’s a break from the drama that surrounds all girls. I don’t mean that as an insult to girls because obviously I’m a girl too and even I admit, girls are too much sometimes. We read too much into our friend’s actions and are quick to assume that someone intentionally hurt us even though that is almost never what actually happened. Boys, on the other hand, never seem to have this problem. Have you ever noticed that boys seem to have the same friends for life or at least for very long periods of time? That’s because boys don’t hold grudges and when a problem is resolved, they actually let it go and move past it. Girls frequently lose friends and gain new ones and I am not an exception from this. I can be very stubborn and am not the best communicator, so I tend to hold everything in until it all comes out in a swirling tornado. But some of my closest friends are boys because they don’t take any of that personally. If I call one of my best guy friends and lash out on them because of something they had nothing to do with, they’ll just listen, tell me to chill out, and then offer me some rather helpful advice. Sometimes I don’t even need their advice, I just need someone to listen and then make me laugh. And if there’s one thing guy friends are great at, it’s making you laugh, even when you think you can’t. Having guy friends keeps a girl’s life less dramatic or stressful. Having boy best friends is often a blessing in disguise.
Finally, having guy friends can be really great during hard times because they’re not as emotional as girls. Although it is important to have friends that you can fall apart in front of and lean on when you just need to cry, it’s just as important to have friends that can help you toughen up and smile through the pain. Sometimes talking about emotional stuff with girls can be really difficult because they’re almost too empathetic. When you’re crying about something, the last thing you need is for the person you’re talking to start crying too because then you end up comforting them. There’s a reason why boys have that connotation of being the rock in relationships and that’s because they can hold things down when us tough girls just can’t. Even though it is important to grieve and express your emotions, it is also important to be able to control those feelings and remember that life will still go on. Girls tend to live in the grey area of life, while boys tend to be pretty black and white. So if they’re your friend, then they are your friend without hesitation or any doubt. And if you’re lucky enough to have some close guy friends, then you know you’ll have them for life. Guy friendships don’t require nearly as much effort. So I know that even if it’s been awhile since I’ve talked to some of my guy friends, they will still be there whenever I need them. I couldn’t lose them even if I tried, which is something I would never do because my guy friends are a big part of the person I have become and am still becoming. The world would be a lot less fun without the boys I’m lucky enough to call my friends and I’m beyond grateful that that is a world I will never have to experience.
