Try to find a high school senior who isn’t counting down the days until they get to leave for college. It’s nearly impossible. If you had asked how I felt about graduating from high school, I would’ve said how excited I was to get out and dive into a completely new place.

I came to college 1,000 miles away thinking about all the new people I would meet, new things I could try and the adventures I would soon have. The first month of my freshman year, I was completely consumed with going through sorority recruitment and starting classes. I made a new friend almost every day and was constantly busy with something.

Freshman year is all about firsts; your first time away from home being the biggest one. You can come home at 3 a.m. without having to worry about your mom finding out and you don’t need to ask anyone for permission before going anywhere. That’s every 18 year-old’s dream. Finally, I could come and go as I pleased and didn’t have to lie to my mom about where I was. By the first couple weeks in I already had quite a few entertaining stories about my antics at school. I was never left without anything to do that was for sure.

But halfway through the semester you start to get homesick. You wish you could be back in your own bed, have your mom there to take care of you and see all of the familiar faces from home. I kept waiting in anticipation for another break because that meant another chance to go home to my safe place. It wasn’t like I didn’t have any friends, because I did, but everything was so different that things started to get hard.

Your first year of college is so bittersweet because there are so many exciting things happening while you are simultaneously going through so many changes. You can spot a freshman from a mile away; their innocent, naïve faces standing out like a sore thumb. I would walk around campus confused most of the time because I was always going to a new place. I would try to act like I had already been here for a year or two, but I look at freshmen now and just laugh because I thought I had people fooled. As a freshman you have no idea where anything is and every time people talk about the nicknames for different places or events you just smile and nod. I couldn’t even manage to walk from the tailgates to the football game alone.

But in reality, freshman year of college isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be. Everyone is constantly posting pictures and statuses from parties or fun event at their school, making it look like they are having the time of their life. But don’t be fooled, the majority of those people probably feel the same exact way you do. Everyone is just trying to figure everything out and have fun. It may seem like your friends are always at parties and are always hanging out with their friends, but they want to feel just as cool as you do.

In all honesty, freshman year doesn’t have to be the best year ever. Despite popular belief, college gets even better as the years go on. Sophomore year gives you the chance to find your true friend group, make a name for yourself in different groups and finally know a thing or two about your school. I felt so much more empowered my sophomore year because it was my second time around and I knew the ins and outs of everything. I also found my true group of best friends which gave me the confidence to get so much more involved in things.

I’m not saying I didn’t have a great freshman year or that I never wish I was a freshman again, because pulling the “I’m a freshman” card comes in handy. But don’t think that once it’s over there is nothing else to look forward to. I look back and am grateful for everything that freshman year taught me, but I also know that I still have 2 years left and I sure as hell won’t let that go to waste.