It is finally the time of year that incoming college freshmen are beginning to organize their belongings and mentally prepare themselves to trek to the college of their choice. They look to parents, extended family and friends who have gone before them for help in what to expect and prepare for when they arrive at college. In addition to these traditional information sources, I also scoured the internet when I moved across the country to school, as many incoming freshmen do. Armed with lists of roommate questions, essential (but honestly not so essential) items I'd need for my dorm, and a sense of dread, I moved to Missouri with the words of the articles I'd read about college being the best years of my life buzzing through my head.
I arrived at school and found what I thought was my niche right away. I made many new friends very quickly, and I was thrilled that I had been so easily accepted. I liked my classes and professors (for the most part) and was excited to be a part of such an active campus community. As the honeymoon phase wore off, however, I realized that I wasn't really happy at all. I was accepting whatever got thrown at me without standing up for myself or what I actually wanted. Many of my friendships were strained, I was nearly failing one of the most important classes to my major that I hated and I was so homesick that I went days without eating or sleeping. It was easy for me to say that I was okay; I wrote thank you notes to people who sent me care packages, telling them how well my freshman year of college was going, and every time I spoke to my remaining friends back home, I bragged about how much I loved my school. I was crying myself to sleep more nights than not. I hated being there, but I would never have admitted it.
But then it got better. I started applying myself more in classes, and I reached out to people when I needed a friend. I forced myself to leave my comfort zone, even if only in small doses, and it got better. Many of the college graduates I've talked to have said that they went through the same thing-- they had to take time and intentionally make their way. I'm not saying it's not horrifying, but things got far easier when I just let them happen. I changed my major and am studying something that I love. I have made friends that I'm pretty sure will be lifelong. And what might be more important than anything else is that I learned to like myself and accept myself.
As confusing and hard as my first year of college was, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world. There are a few things I wish I had known going in, though. So to all you people going into your first year of college, here are my two cents.
1. You will get homesick, so be prepared.
I was thrilled to move across the country and start with a clean slate. No matter how stifled I felt in my hometown and how badly I ached to get out, though, nothing would prepare me for how much I missed home. As I unpacked my clothes into my school-issued chest of drawers, I got a whiff of my grandma's laundry detergent, and I lost it. Everyone is different, and something different will set everyone off. Be prepared to swallow your pride and call your mom/sister/grandma crying. They'll probably be more understanding than you think.
2. Your friends back home will be fine, even if you're not.
Something that I wasn't ready for was the fact that my friends' lives would proceed without me. This may seem self-centered, but for some reason, it didn't register that they would be absolutely fine with me gone. I had a party right before leaving, and so many of my friends showed up to tell me how much they would miss me and how happy they were that I was following my dream. But after a few weeks away, it was really difficult to keep the line of communication flowing naturally like it did when we lived close together. I didn't realize how OK my friends were until I returned home for winter break and saw them without me. While it hurt to see that nothing truly changed when I left, I had to remember that I had changed too. I'm no longer compatible with many of my friends, and have had several awkward and harsh run-ins with people I was once very close with. Time changes people, and time apart changes their relationships. Be ready for this, and remember that it means nothing bad about you or your friends.
3. Don't think that college will be the best years of your life without sacrifice.
Many people-- authors of articles and people that I personally know-- told me that college would be the best, most carefree years of my life. And don't get me wrong, I had a blast at college once I got myself together. I made great friends, went on day trips, made art and became a better person. But I also stayed up until 4 a.m. writing a presentation that counted for half my class grade. I worked harder than I ever have before. I stayed in the studio for hours outside of class trying to get good enough at that one phrase of choreography to not be embarrassed in class. The main purpose of college is to learn a skill set for a career, and that is very hard work. I missed lots of opportunities to bond with my friends for a better grade, and I skipped a few homework assignments to make memories. You will have to make sacrifices-- choose wisely.
4. You won't have it as easy academically as you did in high school.
I saw a lot of my class go into college and build a schedule like they did in high school - 8 a.m. classes, no breaks until evening, as many hours as they could possibly fit in. While this works for many people, it isn't always a great idea to go into it that way. I took far too many classes during my first semester, and I nearly failed a course that was very important to my major. I scraped by with a grade just good enough to pass and be happy, but if I had it to do over, I wouldn't take that many difficult courses in the very beginning. Talk to advisors or students who have gone to your school before and see what professors and their course loads are like before signing up for six classes.
5. Take a "fun" class-- you'll need it.
As a freshman, you may be encouraged by an advisor or upperclassman to take a "fun" course-- art, dance or a theater class may be suggested. While these are absolutely difficult subjects and require a whole other level of dedication, they can still be fantastic for stress relief. You may feel like you need to take all of your important and difficult classes right away, but you have time to take something that doubles as a creative outlet. I went into college with intentions to take a couple of random dance classes, and it saved me. If you haven't dabbled in the creative arts much before, this is a great time to try something out!
6. Don't take yourself too seriously.
I went into college thinking that I had reached maximum adulthood-- I had enrolled, gotten scholarships and gotten my ducks in a row to safely arrive at college. I was grocery shopping. I made payments toward my tuition. I was adulting. I thought this meant that I had to be professional and know exactly what I was doing. This was not the case; I had absolutely no clue what I was doing. I soon realized that I didn't have to be a full-fledged adult the minute I arrived on campus. The whole point of college is to learn how to function in the adult world. I put too much pressure on myself to be professional and be a perfect student. As I prepare to enter my second year of college, I find myself wishing that I had made more time for fun. I spent so many hours cooped up in my room being anxious about my academics that I sort of forgot to enjoy myself. If you take anything away from this article, young freshman, remember this: don't take yourself too seriously. College is a good time to enjoy yourself before adventuring onto grad school, your career or whatever else your future may hold. Try to make the best of it. You'll remember these days forever. Make them great.
