Patrick Bateman. Ted Bundy. Donald Trump. What do they all have in common? A complete lack of empathy for anyone or anything-- but, what else do they possess? Fame, power, and wealth (the outlier here being Bundy, as his median-level income didn’t matter too much after he got toasted by the electric chair).

I mean, look at the facts. Ted Bundy literally had fan mail being sent in by women who found his movie star looks and charisma attractive, with marriage proposals even being in some of the letters. He had groupies who would show up to the hearings dressed up in first date-ready outfits with their hair dyed dark and parted down the middle, as that was the go-to look of his at least 30 documented female victims.

Bundy even found a loophole in the Florida state court laws that allowed him to legally marry one of his fans during the trial by putting her on the stand and proposing to her with a wry smile and a cutesy wink (they also conceived a child during the trial). To top it all off, the judge who oversaw the case commended Bundy following his closing remarks at the conclusion of the trial, calling him a “bright young man” and said “he would make a great lawyer,” whatever that means to pre-law students out there.

Then you have the Donald. The conductor of the Trump train. A man who is one step away from becoming the leader of the free world and is rapidly gaining on Hillary in the polls due to the FBI re-opening her case related to deleted emails.

Trump is, on the other hand, more of a stand-up guy who doesn’t bludgeon people to death for fun (at least that we know of). It doesn’t get much classier when you have a man who during a presidential debate said “he respects women more than anyone” and then proceeded to call his opponent “a nasty woman” ten minutes later. The epitome of a role model.

Furthermore, pre-presidential candidate Trump built his massive fortune with only pure thoughtfulness. He built the morale and ability of his fellow man by not paying his Atlantic City casino contractors due to being unsatisfied with their work. He even helped the little guy out by having ties with the mafia while running his now bankrupt Atlantic City casinos. Trump promotes having a strong mind as well, as he believes veterans who have PTSD are weak and can’t handle the lingering effects of combat overseas. I mean, mental illness is for sissies anyway, right?

However, allow me to digress. Being numb to human emotion of any kind does nothing but give you a helping hand in life. People should be envious of sociopaths because it’s a trait that can’t be learned; a quality that will give political science majors a career boost down the road post-graduation. Paired with ruthless pragmatism a la Frank Underwood, the finest luxuries of life are out there waiting for you. The world is truly your oyster.

Also, as Election Day is tomorrow, here’s a selection of fire tweets from the clearly superior, more keen-witted candidate in this election. Please go out and vote wisely, but not for those losers Gary Johnson or Jill Stein. You might as well just write-in “Puff, the Magic Dragon” or “Dat Boi” on your ballot at that point.

Have a happy Monday.