Growing up it was odd having half sisters. I’m a child of a second marriage and my dad had four girls with his first wife. It was difficult to see them since there is an age gap of more than twice my age. I only saw them when I was younger, not knowing that they came over because my dad had custody for the weekends, I just thought that they came to see me. Having them come visit gave me something to look forward to each week, and it made me feel as if my family was larger. I wasn’t an only child anymore, which would get lonely at some points, but a brother who had sisters who came on the weekends to brighten the day up. By the time I was six, all four went off to college outside of Connecticut and their visits ended. I would see them once every few years, but I never had the chance to see them together again which is something that I hoped for. Even though they were a part of my extended family, I never viewed them that way; I always thought of them as my older sisters who cared about me and spent the weekends with me. There was a span of four years where we didn’t have any contact since they were starting to become adults and didn’t have enough time to worry about how their little half-brother was doing. My relationship with each one was practically non-existent but I hoped that I would be able to stay in contact with at least one of them before I went off to college.
Towards my junior year of high school, I began to communicate with them more and started calling and texting once a month. I wanted to recreate our brother-sister bond in hopes of becoming a part of their family. I realized that they would not be able to visit since they were moving around and didn’t have a place to call home, but I briefly saw the oldest one, Alicia, during my senior year of high school. Towards the end of that year, I asked each one if they would be able to come to my graduation and have a family reunion. Each one said that they would be able to visit and tried to coordinate coming down for the ceremony and possibly staying a day so we could talk in person again. I was thrilled that I was going to get what I had hoped for and recreate the best part of my childhood; having my sisters spend time with me. They told me that they wouldn’t have any problems getting down and they were happy to see me again, which made my graduation not as gloomy as I thought it was going to be.
A week before graduation each one told me that they weren’t going to be able to attend the graduation for different reasons. Each one came up with a different reason for why they couldn’t make it. I could tell that were lying to me and didn’t want to say why they didn’t feel comfortable coming to my graduation for fear of hurting my feelings, and we eventually got into an argument over it which I immediately regretted. I was devastated that I lost the opportunity to again, and I knew that I missed out on the best chance I had to reconnect with all four of them.
We didn’t talk for the rest of the summer but I decided that they were my sisters and I shouldn’t hold a grudge over what happened at graduation. I gave them a second chance at rebuilding our relationship and started talking to them in September. We acted as if the fight never happened and went back to treating each other as brother and sister again. This time, I was able to set up a meeting with one of my sisters, Samantha, for her to come visit on Halloween so I could meet my nephew for the first time. She followed through and I walked around New York City with her, her husband, and my nephew (the one in the article photo). When we saw each other in person, she apologized for missing my graduation and how she wasn’t able to come for a visit after college, which I didn’t care about at all; I was just happy to see her again. We acted like we were kids again making fun of each other and her sharing “words of advice” that I took to heart. Before she left, she told me that no matter where I was, I always had an older sister to go to if I ever needed someone. That’s what I was hoping to have from her and I knew that I had my sister back.
I appreciated the visit and cherished the time we spent together. It would be hard seeing each other in person since she has a child to take care of, but it felt nice that she came down to see me. If I never gave my sisters a second chance, then I may have not seen my nephew for a while which I would have come to regret.I could have been bitter about them canceling on graduation, but I realized that it wasn’t worth it. I gave my sister’s a second chance, knowing that it would only improve our relationship that we would have. Although I only saw one of my sisters, I am optimistic that I’ll be able to see the other three at one point and reconnect with them like I did with Samantha.
It’s unreasonable to hold a grudge against someone, especially family. Everyone deserves a second chance, whether it be in a friendship, job or any other scenario. Most people will understand where they went wrong and will have changed for the better. Sometimes the best way to make amends is to put the past behind and give someone a second chance. If I hadn’t done that than I may have never met my nephew which is something I would have come to regret. So next time someone is trying to make up for a mistake they made, give them the opportunity to do so. You never know how that person has changed until you give them a second chance to redeem themselves.
