Time spent alone is a luxury that many people lust after. You get to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. You’re free to do whatever you want. It’s a time to unwind, to de-stress and to get in touch with yourself. I, however, have never been one of those people. When I’m alone, after the initial excitement of indefinite amounts of an uninterrupted Netflix binge, I’m left with the reality of myself and nothing else. For me, it’s scary.
It’s not that I’m not sure of myself or am insecure about who I am. It’s simply that I’m an extrovert––I get my energy from spending time with other people. I live for the amazing conversations, the bonding moments, the memories made with another person. That connection is what keeps life fresh for me.
When I’m alone, I get tired. The only energy that I have to feed off of is my own. I’m forced to rediscover myself in a way that I would rather do with someone else. I enter into an unknown place. Sometimes, I get really angsty––way too angsty. I decide that no one understands me, which in hindsight is ironic because the only reason I get to this headspace is because I’m all by myself. Sometimes, I go blank. I surrender all of my consciousness toward the internet and I konk out for hours. But sometimes, I get creative. With nothing better to do, why not make something amazing?
Time alone is so often when I get the most inspired. I learn to pull inspiration from myself, and that’s where the best work comes from. It’s cliché, but the most rewarding art comes from within.
I’m still not great at being by myself. After a certain point, I kind of start to lose it. I mean truly, I’m an extrovert. I like to spend most of my time with other people. But that does not mean that I don’t see the value and importance in knowing how to spend time alone, and learning to enjoy it and make something beautiful out of it. So for any extroverts that don’t like being alone, it might be helpful to work on learning how to love your time alone.
