It is so crazy to think about God. To think about how much He loves us. How much He cares about us. How much He is and how little we are, but how much we can do (and be) because of Him.
It’s crazy to think about my life. How different it would be without Him. How different it would be if I actually got my way. Because I have come to realize how much I don’t want to get my way.
I would, by no definition, call myself a planner. I prefer to fly by the seat of my pants. Live life on the edge (that has a very secure guard rail). But sometimes I lay awake at night and think about my life. I think about everything from how many kids I’m going to have (10) to how I’m going to die (peacefully, in my sleep, after a rather delicious meal). I don’t think about how I’m going to write the paper that’s due two days from now (eh, I’ll just wing it), or how I’m going to pay for the next semester of college (anyone hiring?). But I wonder who I’ll marry, what kind of dog we’ll get, and if we will move into the plantation house in South Carolina that I’ve always dreamed of.
But God already knows the answers to all of those questions. And He is probably laughing right now at how wrong I am with how I think my life will turn out. He knows every little thing that is going to happen in my life. He knows where I will be when I tie my shoes the 748th time from now. He knows everything from how many watermelon seeds I will swallow, to how many grandchildren I will have.
So I don’t need to worry at all.
He has a plan.
God’s plan for my life is a million times better than mine. I look back and think about how different my life would have been up until this point if God had said, “You know, you look like you know what you’re doing. Go ahead and take control; I’ll be over here.”
There have been so many times in my life that I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I knew what would make me happy. If God would give me just this one thing, I would never ask for anything again. Just let me have my way, just this once; I know what I want. I am so relieved that God didn’t. He said, “I know you think this is what you want right now, but I have something so much better that I hand picked, just for you. Just wait.”
I read a quote the other day that said something along the lines of, “The only thing harder than waiting on God, is wishing you had.” Ain’t that the truth.
If you sit back and think, you can see exact moments in your life that Jesus took the wheel. Moments that you thought you had a plan, you thought you knew what you were going to do and how things were going to turn out. Be it a boyfriend you thought you would marry, a college you thought you would attend, or even just a night you didn’t plan on going out. I love those moments. I look back, and then I look up and say, “I know that was you God. Thanks for being there for me.”
My favorite times are when I didn’t get my way. Because, oh my gosh, my life would be very settled if I had. Things I once thought couldn’t be beat have now been blown out of the water by God and His plan.
When you put your life in God’s hands, you will never have to settle.
Every experience I’ve had has made me who I am, and God knew that it would. That is why I’ve had those experiences. And when I try to take life into my own hands, He uses my mistakes for good. He makes beautiful things out of dust.
Sometimes I worry. I worry that no one will hire me after college, I worry that no one will marry me and I’ll end up a crazy cat lady, I worry that I won’t accomplish everything I want to, and I worry that I’ll never meet Ellen DeGeneres. But worrying is the last thing I need to be doing. Because my life isn’t in my hands. My life is in much more capable hands, God’s.
And He doesn’t make mistakes.
He has never let me down, and He never will. He has done a much better job with my life than I ever could.
Don’t worry about your life. He’s got this.
