I'll admit that I typically don't like to say "I love you," and I never really have. It has always seemed so awkward to me, whether in a romantic sense, platonic, or even familial. It was not because I didn't experience love, nor because I was afraid of expressing it; saying "I love you" just didn't feel necessary. However, I've recently started to say it more, especially since moving across the country for college.
I was procrastinating one day and should have really been working on a paper when I came across this video:
This really resonated with me, and after seeing the heartwarming reactions on both the parents' end and their children's in this video, I realized that we simply don't say "I love you" enough and actually mean it. This especially rings true in an Asian family, in which love is often not expressed through words but through caring actions and concerned comments. My family isn't the stereotypical Asian family, though. We frequently say "I love you" on the phone, but it resembles more of an addendum to "goodbye." Although we say it quite often, "I love you" rarely seems to be an expression of unconditional love and genuine gratitude for having each other.
This isn't necessarily restricted to my family nor to Asian families in general; this applies to a lot of us. When do we say "I love you?" We say "I love you" on the phone right before we're about to hang up as I do with my family. We say "I love you" when we get an awesome gift and accompany it with a short hug. We say "I love you" before we go through airport security and accompany it with a reasonably longer hug. In movies, we see characters say "I love you" right before something tragic or dangerous happens, as if only those extreme circumstances warrant expressions of love. Where are the surprises? Why don't we ever say "I love you" when we don't feel like it is entirely necessary in the moment?
I have a rocky relationship with my family. We don't always get along, and we've been through a lot. It didn't help that I was a pretty indignant teenager and expressed my teenage angst openly and in writing. Being away from them for such long periods of time, however, makes me think about how grateful I am for having them in my life. I reflect on the sacrifices my mom made to raise us, the huge amount of support I get from my brother, and all of my dad's exhausting years of hard work to ensure that we had a comfortable life.
I love them all, but I don't tell them enough. Being as busy as we all are, it is difficult to find time to be with each other or to even call regularly, and so I've recently been making sure to tell them that I love them whenever I have the chance. Last week, I called my dad to tell him that I love him. He didn't answer, but I left a long voicemail. I didn't say it as I was saying "goodbye." In fact, I began by telling him that I loved him and proceeded to tell him how grateful I am to have him in my life.
And this kind of started as a result of what one of my friends had done for me earlier in the day. That morning, I received a random text from her telling me that she loved and appreciated me, and that inspired me to call my dad and to text another one of my friends with whom I haven't spoken in a while to tell her that I loved and appreciated her.
If we don't express our love for our friends and family, how will they know that they are loved? My friend's random small expression of love started a chain reaction. As sappy and as much of a cliché as this may sound, let's spread the love. Tell your friends and family that you love them; there's nothing wrong with loving.
And if someone hasn't told you yet today: regardless of whether I know you or not, I love you.