Why I Don't Plan On Getting Married In My Twenties

Why I Don't Plan On Getting Married In My Twenties

My twenties are for finding myself and loving me; my thirties, however, are for loving a man and a family.

Why I Don't Plan On Getting Married In My Twenties

Being a little girl in the '90s, I remember playing wedding with my friends. I remember dressing up and getting married to a classmate on the playground — having a husband was a big deal in kindergarten.

Growing up, I remember watching movies of happy brides and grooms planning their wedding and thinking how I couldn’t wait to get married one day. Then I was thinking I would be married by the time I turned 25 years old and starting a family by 30.

In high school, I remember sitting in the computer lab with my girlfriends and planning our own weddings, from the bridesmaid dresses to the flowers to the song all of our first dances would be to; did I mention we were all single?

In college, I remember going to wedding mixers, where one girl would dress as the bride and a guy as the groom and everyone else would be the wedding party. We would stage drunk sloppy weddings and picture ourselves spending forever with these frat guys.

Our whole lives, we’re conditioned to get married, thinking that getting married is the end-all-be-all of living a happy and fulfilling life; we all know at least one girl that went to college to get her MRS degree. Don’t get me wrong, I want to get married one day, I want to be blissfully happy with my husband and I want to adopt a couple of adorable (preferably toilet trained) children in need of a loving home. I just don’t want to do it soon.

I don’t plan on getting married in my twenties because I want to live my life. I want to travel the world, see new places, meet new people, and experience new cultures. I don’t want ties keeping me from pursuing different opportunities, to keep me from moving across the country on a whim. I want to date around and get free meals and drinks from guys I meet on Bumble or Coffee Meets Bagel — which by the way are great dating apps if you're looking for someone who will start a conversation without saying “DTF?”

I don’t plan on getting married in my twenties because I’m fiercely independent and I want to continue to be that way. I have a job. I live alone. I love me time. I’m at the point where I'm sure when I get married, my husband and I will need separate apartments.

I don’t plan on getting married in my twenties because, even though I’m independent, I can barely take care of myself, let alone worry about bringing someone else into the mix. I buy new underwear instead of just doing laundry. I eat out for practically every meal, that is unless you would classify almonds and Naked Juice as a meal, because I do.

I don’t plan on getting married in my twenties because I’m currently in my twenties and I haven't met anyone I've wanted to marry — I’m not counting my celebrity crushes because if Calvin Harris asked me to marry him, I’d come running. I take my time getting to know people, I'm incredibly awkward and get creeped out the moment a guy shows just a little too much interest. Maybe part of this is due to the fact that I'm still sort of waiting to my very own Mark Darcy, so other guys pale in comparison.

I don’t plan on getting married in my twenties because I have the rest of my life to do that. It’s become so much more of a social norm to get married in your thirties and just enjoy the time you have to be young and irresponsible. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t get married if I found the right guy, I’m just not going to spend day and night pining to get married for at least another few years. That doesn't mean I’ll stop planning my dream wedding, though.

I have plenty of friends who are engaged and in their twenties. I’m so incredibly happy that they have found their very own permanent roommates and I wish them nothing but the best and lifelong happiness. I just know for me, my twenties are for finding myself and loving me; my thirties, however, are for loving a man and a family.

Just know, if you’re also a twenty-something and you don’t plan on getting married during your prime, you’re not alone. Solidarity sister or brother!

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