I don’t like the word perfect. For most of my life, I’ve struggled with being a perfectionist. I wanted to do everything right the first time. When I was younger, I took piano lessons. I’d get frustrated with the music before I even tried to play the song because I was convinced it was too difficult for me and I couldn’t do it. I was so scared I’d fail before I even tried. I didn’t know then that this was perfectionism.

Fast forward to my junior year of college when my perfectionism reached its peak. School became a constant form of stress and anxiety because I felt like my teachers were counting on me to do well in their classes. They knew I was smart, so if I got a bad grade, I felt as if I was letting them down.

Perfectionists like to be involved in a lot of things because they feel like they have to be the best at everything. They won’t try something though if they think they will fail even if it’s something they really want to do. This was me, and I found that doing so much at once spreads you very thin, and it makes you neglect people. I had many friends who I felt like I wasn’t giving enough time to because I had so many friends all over campus who did different things. This didn’t help my perfectionism. I wasn’t being the perfect friend (whatever that is) so I was failing these people.

When it comes to perfectionism, the only real cure is time. No one can say the magic word to instantly make you stop feeling the way you do. People telling you that it’s okay to make mistakes isn’t going to change your mind. It takes time for their words to really sink in. Perfectionists know the way they’re acting is crazy, and it may seem like they’re not listening to you, but trust me they are.

Being a perfectionist isn’t just something you can stop being. It’s always a part of you. Being a perfectionist isn’t always a bad thing though. It's important to have a good work ethic and strive to do your best. It can become a bad thing when you let it control your life.

Now you may understand why I don’t like the word perfect. When someone is a perfectionist, mostly only those close to them know it. Most people don’t know what a perfectionist is struggling with. That’s one of the biggest problems with being a perfectionist. No one knows anything is wrong because you do everything you can to appear like you have everything together. Because of this, people don’t know the struggle of perfectionism, so they didn’t know how this word made me feel. How it makes me feel.

For future reference don’t call me perfect. Don’t use it in reference to my schoolwork, my writing or anything else. When people call someone perfect, they mean it in a nice way, but what the word means to them isn’t what it means to a perfectionist. It’s a reminder of what they’re currently struggling with or with what they’re trying to overcome. We appreciate the compliment, we just don’t like the word.