Wow, so okay, a long time ago when I was a young senior in high school with wide eyes and even a wider heart my only dream was to get into UCLA. I wrote an essay that met all the requirements, got a solid 2.86 GPA, and even ran track for like a whole month, but I knew I was destined for UCLA. When the letters started flying in I found out that UCLA hadn't excepted me or even waitlisted me. Heartbroken, even my brand new Mercedes for college wasn't enough to ease my spirit, but I figured it just wasn't meant to be.

Now, three years later a massive story broke where I found that parents were actually bribing school officials to sneak their kids into school on supposed academic accomplishments and athletic prowess that they didn't possess. These parents even include William H. Macy and some washed up actress from "Full House"! They paid a fake charity, college officials, and even fake students 15,000 to take their ACTs (even though everyone knows Jimmy Collins will do it for like a hundred bucks worth of pot). Now I'm not saying that I for sure would've got in if people hadn't cheated to get my spot, but I guess we'll never know.

This brings me to my main point, why do my parents not love me enough to buy my way into college. Like I'm supposed to earn my way in like some kind of freakin' poor person? What the hell Mom and Dad?!? Always claiming they love me with literally hardly anything to back it up. I've bluntly told them before that they can literally buy my love, but here I am stuck in the desert far away from beaches and palm trees. Yet my brother gets into UCSB on for "good grades" and because he was captain of the school soccer team. They only got second in the state championship and there was like two other captains, so I highly doubt that UCSB would actually give a shit about him. Clearly, they bought him in, but I wasn't worth half a million, whatever.

And don't come to their defense either, they definitely knew about these scams! My cousin Greg got into UCLA on a "croquet scholarship" which was highly dubious from the start. Now I found out that my Aunt was listed on the CIA's list of suspects next to Felicity Huffman. FELICITY HUFFMAN. So my mom totally knew cause we all know Aunt Naomi is hooked on pills and will literally tell anyone everything. She once called to tell me she slept with one of her husband's groomsmaids, which why would I care. Anyway, Greg's basically twitter famous at our old high school right now and that could've been me.

So while I think we all seem a little shaken up, I guess sometimes you just think you know your parents love you when they just kinda don't. Here I was thinking that my parents loved me because I took their word for it like a moron and now I'm left with a broken heart and broken dreams. To everyone else out there who's in the same boat as me, just remember all we have is each other. Even if our parents don't love us enough, it's up to us to love each and ourselves. I'll be setting up a Gofundme shortly to help bribe college officials so I can finish my senior year in California like I was meant to. Please Donate.