Last week, I was sitting here at Truett-McConnell University having a talk about life, friends, and faith with my friend Tristin Jewell. We talked about various topics, but one stuck out when we began discussing our views on how "dating" is viewed in the world today. He talked about his current situation with a girl named Shelby, and how they aren't technically "dating". I was confused, so he quickly clarified. He explained that they had already established how they felt about one another, and really did not feel the need to broadcast their feelings to the world, but rather be in a relationship without all the fanfare. I had never thought of it that way, and as the conversation continued he dropped a quote he had heard before from someone else. When I asked about his overall stance on dating he said;

"If you asked not dating to marry, then you are dating to break up."

Let that sink in, and realize how much of a fact that is slowly becoming in the world today.

Think about it, as teens we didn't think about it that way, we thought of it as social status. We had a significant other, and that made us cool, or noticed, and of course marriage is the last thing on our mind at that time. What about as you mature though? Unfortunately, with some, it still matters about social status with relationships, but for many it evolves into a deeper connection, but they still broadcast their relationships on social media. They may not care about social status at all, but they still put all their pictures and events out there for everyone to see. After that discussion with Tristin, I am a firm believer that the act of "dating" needs to go away and never come back, and here is why.

Reason #1 is the simple fact that I alluded to earlier, the social status aspect. That is the first and fatal flaw in many relationships. You don't have to have a girlfriend/boyfriend to be seen more in the eyes of your inner circle or to better your reputation. You are fine just the way you are. Too many get caught up in being in a relationship with someone to just better their reputation, and that is a wrong reason for a relationship. There is also the public broadcast of relationships on social media. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, MySpace, carrier pigeon, ok, you get the picture, but so many "couples" put their relationship all over social media. Why? If you both care about one another deeply, why do you need the approval of others via likes on pictures or otherwise? That's not a knock on anyone doing that currently, but that should not be a concern in any relationship. Focus on one another, throw away social media and status because the only approval you need is your own.
Secondly, there is the commitment of a relationship.

"If you are not dating for marriage, then you are dating to break up."

Think about your current partner if you are in a relationship, are they someone you could see yourself marrying one day? If you answer is no, save each other some time, and move on, because that should be the main purpose of any relationship. You can't just be in a relationship for fun, you are in are a relationship because you adore one another. Marriage is what ultimately should be the goal for any couple. Am I saying you have to marry the person you are currently with? Absolutely not, because sometimes things don't work out, but if you are in a relationship without thinking of spending the rest of your life with that person, it is a practice in futility. What about being committed in a relationship? I think that is what you should do with one another in a relationship. You don't have to be dating, just be committed to one another. Establish how you feel about one another, and be each other's "person", you don't have to be boyfriend/girlfriend. That should be enough for couples in today's society.

Lastly, what about to keep as the focus of your commitment to one another ? My hope is that the Lord becomes that for everyone. Put God at the center of your ideals with your person, because he has a plan for you both. Trust in him, and if the time comes, or has already come where you get engaged to your partner, that is when it is okay to start thinking about a huge step. Commit to one another and then build on it, and once you are taking the next step with a ring for presumably marriage, then start to court him or her even further. The only thing that should be considered a dating relationship is your marriage to the love of your life. Treat them like you will never lose them, and make them remember every day, don't let the stigma of dating get you in the early stages. Don't "date" from the get go, date each other when you make the ultimate commitment. The bottom line is dating needs to go away because dating should mean marriage.

Don't let this world trick you into thinking that dating should be accepted by all, approved by many, and the way to go. Beat to your own drum, and use this tune I just described if you would like because I hope the term "dating" outside of marriages starts to wither soon, and fade into the stars.

Have a great week everyone!