A lot of people complain that going out on actual dates is a thing of the past. With the stigma that we live in a hookup culture, real dates have gone by the wayside and seem to be the Loch Ness monster of social interaction; talked about but somehow rarely seen. Now, this would be fine if it were to be replaced with another way for two people to get to know each other on that level, but instead of coming up with a new twist to dating, we have hookups, Tinder, and a plethora of other hookup-type apps and websites.
Now, I’m not saying that dates don’t happen in these situations, but the rates of actual dates where two people see if they connect on more than a physical level are appallingly low. When I’ve brought this up to people, they always say that dating just isn’t relevant or needed anymore. Going out on dates with people just isn’t the way it is done and that is just fine.
But how can this be true if we take a look at the relationships we’re creating? There are about 1.5 (give or take) million divorces a year in the United States. Of course, that “50% of all marriages end in divorce” statistic has been proven false and divorce rates have technically declined in recent years, but that isn’t because people are staying married; many simply aren’t getting married in the first place. Many say it’s because they haven’t found “the one,” but when “dating” consists of swiping left or right on Tinder, how are you supposed to get to know anyone on a deep enough level to even begin to learn if they are “the one?"
Dating is still relevant. It is still the best way to get to know a person and that isn’t going away. And newsflash, the guy doesn’t have to pay all the time anymore (an excuse I heard from one friend for why he doesn’t date!) Society has evolved past that and using that as an excuse is bogus.
There are so many people that complain about being alone but rely on the internet to fix it for them instead of walking up to that person in a coffee shop or the library and asking them to get dinner or a drink with them. There is no way you are going to get to know a person behind the screen of your phone or computer.
Dating is like buying clothing: you need to go and try different ones on to see if they fit into your life. You really don’t know what you want until you meet someone with those qualities. You also may find new qualities to look for in a person or you might get rid of some qualities you thought were attractive but ended up falling short in reality. But ultimatley, you won't find anything if you don’t get yourself out there in the first place and go on that date.
