There are a lot of people in this world, and a lot of dancers. Behind every dancer is a reason why they started dancing and why they continue. For me, that reason is simple: it saved me from myself.
Ever since I was little, dance has been a part of my life. Dance has always been that constant thing that I could always count on to make me feel good and that's why I started. When I was bored and wanted to just blast music and dance in my room, dance was there. When I was having a bad day and just felt like crying or screaming, I could go to the studio and just dance my emotions out. When everything was going wrong in my life, dance was the thing that never failed me.
I didn't hit me until I was fourteen how important dance is to me. When I started high school, I was struggling to adjust to the new experiences a teenager faces. I was this quiet shy girl that had about 3 friends and didn't really speak to anyone. Everything made me nervous and I was starting to worry obsessively and over-think myself sick. My junior year, I had my first panic attack and I realized I was developing generalized anxiety. It got so bad to the point where I no longer recognized myself and I was really unhappy. I felt worthless, unlikable and I was falling apart. At this point in my life I had taken a 3 year break from taking dance classes because of financial reasons. So when I started taking class again in high school, I began to like the person I was changing into and I had this newfound happiness and confidence. My anxiety subsided and was manageable. Dance class and rehearsals became my main focus and I looked forward to it every single day. I made tons of friends and I actually sort of became outgoing.
Dance literally swept me off the floor and made me a new person. I wasn't hiding inside myself and behind my insecurities anymore. Dance brought my personality out and let me become someone that wasn't defined by my struggle with anxiety. Sure sometimes I fall back into that dark place that anxiety puts me, but every time dance is there to pull me right back into the light. Maybe it seems like I'm giving a lot of credit to something that's a simple hobby or fun pastime to some people. But to me, it is so much more than that. Dance has become a lifestyle and something I keep doing because it has healed me and continues to do so. Maybe I'm not the best and maybe I'll never become a professional. Nevertheless, I am a dancer and being able to do something I love so much, even if it's only in college for now, makes me so unbelievably happy and grateful. Whenever I find myself starting to fall into old habits and starting to doubt myself and shy away from things, I just dance.
I dance because in this crazy world, it is the one thing that makes sense.
I dance and I know I can do anything.
