October. The month where you get to hear high-pitched conversations (that sound more like bickering) at 3 a.m. outside, when the girls who decided they wanted to be a part of the Greek system at your school think it’s the best time to “bond” loudly outside of your residence hall.

Now, I’m not saying that sororities are a bad thing for everyone. Some people get a lot out of it, like connections for future employment, super cool housing, a pre-planned social life, a sense of belonging, and lifelong friendships that you can’t put a price on! But, since I was asked every day since the beginning of the school year if I will be pledging, I actually had to come up with my personal pros and cons of being in a sorority. I have nothing against the girls who do decide to join a sorority, but I think the whole “there’s a sorority for everyone” statement is a lie. I do not feel like I could benefit in any way from being in a sorority. I’m not being negative about sororities -- I just know that they definitely are not for me, and not for a lot of collegiate females.

I know that most of us have the preconceived notion of sorority girls as tall, blonde, Vineyard Vines-wearing, popular and rich party girls without any substance. What I’ve learned from going to a school where Greek Life isn't the forefront of our activities is that a lot of the girls (at least at smaller schools, from my experience) are genuine, intelligent, social, and diverse. The officers of the sororities on my campus are females who are independent and dedicated to getting the whole college experience of great academics and also great friends. But that isn’t the case at every school.

Shallow Identities and Labels.

As I read Mindy Kaling’s “Why Not Me?”, she included a chapter on how her pledge was underwhelming and the sisterhood just wasn’t for a person like her. She was always the “funny girl”, and that’s all that was ever expected from her. Joining a sorority does give people a sense of belonging because these upperclassmen girls picked you to be a part of their exclusive club. But, the sense of belonging can be artificial. Like how all freshmen have a hard time fitting in their first couple of weeks at school and just want to be known, joining a sorority seems to get rid of the option of trying to create a name for yourself. Sometimes your sisters will give you an embarrassing nickname because of some stupid thing you did. Sometimes they’ll call you the “funny one” or the “one that sings” or “the girl who knows how to do makeup really well”. Though these are nice, positive labels to have, do you really want to live up to one identity your whole time you are a member? You will be expected to do impressions all the time. You will be the first to be asked your opinions on Ariana Grande’s new album, and you will have to do every girl’s makeup for formal. Sororities seem to do a good job at categorizing people, but they expect them to stay the same.

Surprise -- you can also meet interesting people outside of your sorority.

When it comes to getting connections and meeting friends who are interested in the same things as you, I feel like students should be able to do this on their own... in their own classrooms and activities. If someone works hard in a class, odds are they will be on a professor’s good side. If someone gets out of their comfort zone and talks to someone who’s majoring in the same thing, or is in the same activities, they will most likely meet people who are interested in the same things. Join a music ensemble if you like music, join a sports team if you like sports, write for the school newspaper if you like writing. You will meet people when you are in activities. You don’t need to live in the same house as 50 other females to miraculously find someone who has something in common with you, and you don’t need to know someone who knows someone in order to get things accomplished.

Sharing a house with 50 females.

And the housing… I do respect the idea of living together in one house, especially since my college is a residential college where all students have to live on campus all four years. There is a lot of bonding that will happen when girls share a house. When you feel like watching TV, your sisters will be right there to talk about how hot this year’s Bachelor is. But, when you feel like watching TV, your sisters will be right. there. Talking about how hot this year’s Bachelor is. What’s theirs is yours… and what’s yours is theirs. When you walk into a sorority house you can just feel the estrogen, and girls will have their periods synced up and all PMS at the same time (I am not kidding, this is a real thing). 50 girls PMSing at the same time can lead to many, many just wacky emotions. Also, since you are in such close quarters, gossip will spread like wildfire. Don’t even think of going on a date with the guy that your sister dated three years ago. It doesn’t matter if she's with someone new. It’s respecting The Sisterhood.

The Sisterhood must be your #1 priority.

The social life that comes with being in a sorority is pretty cool, I admit, but only from the outside as someone who is not a part of the sorority. I love parties just as much as the next person, but having to work these parties is not something that I want to be required to do. I also don’t want to commit myself to having weekly meetings, plus parties on the weekends, plus social times that are planned, plus whatever time I have to spend volunteering and working with my sisters. I am a busy person, and most sororities heavily require attendance. Sure, if I was majoring in something that never required practicing or outside meetings, and if I wasn’t a part of anything else on campus, I would be in attendance to things. But, I will not sacrifice my time with my ensembles or activities because of a forced "Finding Nemo" movie night. This is the part that I especially don't like about sororities -- they must be your #1 priority, because you owe it to The Sisterhood. Doesn’t that sound kind of like a cult to you?

Forced bonding with people that I just really don't want to be friends with.

And now I get to the forced bonding. I’d like to start off by saying that I don’t dislike anyone just “because”. I can socialize with anyone, and I appreciate people who go out of their way to do the same. I have met all my good friends through approaching them on my own time and sharing common interests and activities with them, and I’m usually not friends with people who aren’t like me. Since sororities are a place where people go to meet new people and get out of their comfort zone, there will be some people who have amazing social skills, and some people who are a little lackluster in their personalities. I’d also like to say that I am a person who is uncensored in most ways -- I make dick jokes, I eat super unhealthy food (do you also lick the butter off of the side of the popcorn bag or?), I watch what people classify as “stoner movies”, I have boys (well, a boy) over, sometimes I go days without showering, and I often don’t do my laundry for weeks.

How can I bond with someone who likes three-month-old memes, diets regularly, only watches rom-coms and Grey’s Anatomy (or at least doesn’t think "Tim and Eric" is funny), takes five minute long showers twice a day, and changes their sheets weekly? I’m kinda gross, and a lot of girls would despise living with someone like me because I’m not like the “normal” female who just bonds with her three girl friends, watches Netflix, and puts inspirational quotes on my wall. I don’t want to talk about the weather, I don’t want to listen to the new pop song that’s on the radio, I don’t want to watch Beyonce, I don’t want to talk about the diet you’re on, and I definitely do not want to look at pictures of a corgi you found on Facebook. I’m an interesting person, and I’m sure 99% of the girls would not like any opinions I have, much less anything I have to say. You think you and your friends are “so weird”? Add me on Snapchat. You’ll hate me.

(PS - do you really think it’s possible that all pledges have the “best mom ever!”?)