Recently, there was an article published on Odyssey titled “Why I Didn’t Rush, And I’m Sure As Hell Glad I Didn’t,” in which the author goes to great lengths in her attempt to pick apart Greek Life and point out every one of the ways that she believes those of us who did go greek fall short. While I have no problem with someone who chooses not to rush, or someone voicing their opinions, I don’t appreciate wrongful or misplaced judgment and assumptions. So with all due respect to that author and her opinions, here is my rebuttal. Because let me tell ya girlfriend, you are ridiculously misinformed.
1. “I knew I didn’t belong.”
“I don't own a pair of wedges. I don't own a white lace dress. I don't have waist-long blonde hair. I'm not rail-skinny. I don't spend my time in Zumba classes with my girlfriends.”
Okay. You caught me, I own wedges and a white dress. But believe it or not, so do girls that aren’t in Greek life. Trust me, my dress and shoe choices had nothing to do with my admittance into my chapter. Well over 50 percent of the girls in my chapter have either brunette or black hair or shoulder length hair cuts. And honey, if recruitment was based on being “rail-skinny,” I wouldn’t be in Greek life. And with all of the time we spend on community service with our chapters, study hall, and our jobs, what makes you think we all have time to spend giggling around in Zumba classes?
2. “Sorority Moms.”
“If you know my mother at all, you know she's a bad ass. You also know that she's either in a business suit or running clothes. She doesn't spend her days at lunch with her girlfriends, shopping and spending tons of money, gossiping and socializing, or begging me to do anything.They were always in everyone's business. They were always putting me down because I wasn't wearing Lily Pulitzer or buying MAC makeup. Oh, and did I mention they were my fellow church members? Hmmm.”
Back the heck up sister. My mom is a bad-ass. She’s in a high power position in an international company, and she’s literally ALWAYS in a business suit or running clothes. I swear she never slows down. She does have lunch with her girlfriends, only after she’s taken care of everything else like the superhero that she is. But it’s not to gossip or “beg me to do anything,” it’s because she’s a kind hearted, loving women, who loves building relationships with people. My mom certainly isn’t making fun of anyone for what their wearing or not wearing. I’m sorry that you’ve experienced that before, but it definitely wasn’t coming from anyone like my mother. You did get one thing right though; my momma does go to church.
3. “The monayyyyy.”
“College is expensive as hell. I didn't want yet another bill coming in for me (or my parents) to figure out how to pay. Private chef or no private chef, I didn't want to spend God knows how much money on being a part of some organization.”
For the record, living in the sorority house with our (amazing) personal chef costs over $1,500 less than living in a dorm using the cheapest meal plan, and that includes fees once our annual dues are paid. So… you were saying?
4. “College was a clean slate.”
“I didn't want to have to pretend like I was rich and happy all the time. I wasn't turned on by the thought of having 100 "sisters." Not my deal.”
Girl, it’s totally fine if you don’t want to have 100 sisters. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened for me, but if it’s not your deal, then fine. But don’t insinuate that I have to “pretend like I’m rich and happy” all the time. These girls love me on my worst days; and I promise we aren’t sitting around talking about money (remember, we’re busy working hard to keep our 4.0’s)
5. “The social gatherings were a ‘nah.’”
“Mixers? Formals? This and that? Yeah. Sounds like a ball of fun if I weren't taking 18 hours of classes and trying to keep a perfect GPA.”
You are not the first person to ever take 18 hours. A huge percentage of the girls in my chapter are doing the same, and still managing their outstanding GPAs. Many of us have scholarships and work hard to keep them. But we still know how to have fun, it’s called balance.
6. “The process of rushing.”
“Sounded like it freaking sucks. You walk from house to house and try to get people to like you? And then they offer you a spot based on the five-minute conversation they had with you the day before?”
You are sorely mistaken; recruitment week was the bomb. I met some of my best friends, who I know I will have by my side for the rest of my life, during that week. And each house bases their decision on a heck of a lot more than a five-minute conversation, trust me. But if you were to go through recruitment with the attitude of “it’s going to freaking suck,” then you’re probably right, it wouldn’t be too much fun.
7. “The stigma.”
“[When applying for a job] The LLL girl they knew in college who slept around becomes part of my identity. I didn't want another girl's actions, or another chapter's actions, to dictate what people thought about me.”
If people base their opinion of me on anything but what my resume says, or on my own actions, it’s on them. But honestly, if people judged me by the other girls in my chapter, I’d be pretty darn lucky because they are some pretty amazing women.
8. “Time Commitment.”
“The choice was between rushing or the Honors program. Which would benefit me more down the road? Which would really be worth the time? Yeah. Hands down, I decided to be an Honors student.”
In life, you have to learn to balance. And being an honors student and being in Greek life has helped prepare me (and many of my sisters) for that aspect of life. In addition, the networking possibilities available to you once you are in a sorority are fantastic. So not only are you learning balance and creating life-long friendships while in school, you have the opportunity to connect with others immediately after college as well. It’s a win-win.
I am truly sorry for whatever you may have gone through to make you see Greek life in such a negative light. Your article was full of harsh judgement and aggressive assumptions. I won’t judge you for choosing not to rush, and I’d like to ask that you don’t judge me for choosing a different path. At the heart of our organizations is nothing but love, sisterhood, and respect for one-another. If you do open your mind and choose to rush, I’d be willing to bet we could change your mind about a lot of this.
