There are a few phrases that have always bothered me— phrases I have heard all of my life. “It’s because he is a boy.” “Boys will be boys.” “Oh, he is just being a boy.” “Honey, they’re just built that way.” It was not these comments that bothered me necessarily. I did not care that whomever these people were talking about was a boy; rather, I cared that these comments acted as an excuse.
I have always been a “type A” personality. My homework is always done on time, I try to never miss a meeting, and I always try to be as involved as I possibly can. So, growing up it always aggravated me if a male counterpart was excused from doing anything less than I did.
Not only are these statements unfair to both men and women alike, but they are potentially damaging to both genders. Have you ever heard the phrase, "You are what you eat?" Well, I don't know if that is true or not, but in a similar way, if you are told you are *insert adjective here*, you can eventually adhere to those qualities. Boys grow up hearing that the crude things they say or the laziness they show in class or at home is what is excepted of them because they are boys. In the same way, girls are taught to excuse vile or unacceptable behavior of boys because of hearing statements like, "That's just the way boys are."
These unfair gender statements are also very damaging to education. We are taught that boys are tough, bad at English, and should excel at math, science, or be good with their hands. I recently watched Girl Meets World on Disney Channel, (don't judge me, Boy Meets World was fantastic and occasionally I like to see what they did with the spinoff) and they were talking about how girls tend to lose interest in STEM subjects as they get older because "boys are supposed to be better at that stuff." I just can't help but imagine the possibilities and innovations our world would see if we stopped telling them that they should be good or bad at something because of their gender or because of anything else they cannot control.
Statements like "boys will be boys" have become cultural norms, statements one does not even think about when said. We need to think about these statements. I volunteer at a local primary center, and I see so much potential for each of the kids I work with. They each have their own personalities and their own likes and dislikes--not because of their gender, but because of their individuality. I am not going to define the kids I work with as lazy or organized because of their gender. You shouldn't either.
