Why My Boyfriend Comes First

Why My Boyfriend Comes First

He's my best friend, but I still need my girls.

I remember growing up always believing my friends would come before any boy I ever dated. Like Leslie Knope said: "Ovaries before brovaries." In high school, my friends and I would get mad or upset at another friend that was giving her boyfriend more time than us. I still hear girls complain about how they're friends will put boyfriends before them.

I used to be one of those angry friends until I started dating my current boyfriend. We've been dating for three and a half years now and he really is my best friend. We do everything together. He's the first one I talk to about anything, good or bad. He's my rock. So with that being said, I devote a lot of time to him. Whenever I want to go to a movie or a concert or any other event, he's the first one I think of. I love spending my time with him, so I do.

The more time my boyfriend and I started spending together, the more I realized my friends weren't hanging out with me as much. I'd see on social media how much fun they were having without me. When I brought it up they would say things like, "Oh, we figured you'd be with your boyfriend" or "We thought you'd already have plans." I felt like I was being punished for being in love.

It's so unfair how girls do this to each other. Why can't your friend spend time with their boyfriend one night instead of you? Strengthening a relationship takes a lot of work, and that work requires a lot of time. I shouldn't feel like I'm losing friends because I found someone I love spending time with. I still want to make time to be with my friends, but sometimes it feels like they don't want to try. Balancing friends and a relationship can be a real obstacle.

So ladies, give your friend the benefit of the doubt if she's starting to spend more time with a boyfriend. I promise she's not trying to cut you out. Love is fun and hard and time-consuming and so many things...she just needs time to figure it all out. I LOVE being with my boyfriend, but I still need gal time. Just because I'm in a serious relationship doesn't mean I don't need my girls. Boyfriends aren't very great when it comes to chick flicks and drama. Just because it feels like you're being ignored because a friend is spending time with her boyfriend, doesn't mean you should ignore her back. It might feel like she doesn't want to spend time with you, but I promise she does. Really, I'm just asking for an invite.

Now don't take this the wrong way. I'm not saying it's okay to not talk to your friends if you have a boyfriend. Friends are so important, even if you consider you boyfriend your best friend. Make time to be with them. And seriously...if your friends say he's not good for you, 9 times out of 10 they are correct.

My boyfriend comes first. It really is as simple as that. That doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with other people. I still want to be with my friends and go out with them. I just need to spend time with my boyfriend first. So girls, please give your friends a little slack when they start spending more time with a boy and less time with you. They'll still always need you around.

Cover Image Credit: Mike Efeney

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When You Give A Girl A Dad

You give her everything

They say that any male can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad. That dads are just the people that created the child, so to speak, but rather, dads raise their children to be the best they can be. Further, when you give a little girl a dad, you give her much more than a father; you give her the world in one man.

When you give a girl a dad, you give her a rock.

Life is tough, and life is constantly changing directions and route. In a world that's never not moving, a girl needs something stable. She needs something that won't let her be alone; someone that's going to be there when life is going great, and someone who is going to be there for her when life is everything but ideal. Dads don't give up on this daughters, they never will.

When you give a girl a dad, you give her a role model.

If we never had someone to look up to, we would never have someone to strive to be. When you give a little girl someone to look up to, you give her someone to be. We copy their mannerisms, we copy their habits, and we copy their work ethic. Little girls need someone to show them the world, so that they can create their own.

When you give a girl a dad, you give her the first boy she will ever love.

And I'm not really sure someone will ever be better than him either. He's the first guy to take your heart, and every person you love after him is just a comparison to his endless, unmatchable love. He shows you your worth, and he shows you what your should be treated like: a princess.

When you give a girl a dad, you give her someone to make proud.

After every softball game, soccer tournament, cheerleading competition, etc., you can find every little girl looking up to their dads for their approval. Later in life, they look to their dad with their grades, internships, and little accomplishments. Dads are the reason we try so hard to be the best we can be. Dads raised us to be the very best at whatever we chose to do, and they were there to support you through everything. They are the hardest critics, but they are always your biggest fans.

When you give a girl a dad, you give her a credit card.

It's completely true. Dads are the reason we have the things we have, thank the Lord. He's the best to shop with too, since he usually remains outside the store the entire time till he is summoned in to forge the bill. All seriousness, they always give their little girls more than they give themselves, and that's something we love so much about you.

When you give a girl a dad, you give her a shoulder to cry on.

When you fell down and cut yourself, your mom looked at you and told you to suck it up. But your dad, on the other hand, got down on the ground with you, and he let you cry. Then later on, when you made a mistake, or broke up with a boy, or just got sad, he was there to dry your tears and tell you everything was going to be okay, especially when you thought the world was crashing down. He will always be there to tell you everything is going to be okay, even when they don't know if everything is going to be okay. That's his job.

When you give a girl a dad, you give her a lifelong best friend.

My dad was my first best friend, and he will be my last. He's stood by me when times got tough, he carried me when I just couldn't do it anymore, and he yelled at me when I deserved it; but the one thing he has never done was give up on me. He will always be the first person I tell good news to, and the last person I ever want to disappoint. He's everything I could ever want in a best friend and more.

Dads are something out of a fairytale. They are your prince charming, your knight in shinny amour, and your fairy godfather. Dads are the reasons we are the people we are today; something that a million "thank you"' will never be enough for.

Cover Image Credit: tristen duhon

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To My Long-Distance Best Friend, We Might Be 7,811 Miles Apart, But Our Friendship Only Gets Stronger

It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.


To my best friend,

It has been 270 days since I last met you and 206 more days until I meet you again. People say that time flies by quickly, but these have been the most difficult days that seemed to drag on forever. Five years ago when you were sitting next to me on the first day of our sociology class, I had no idea we would end up being best friends. From sharing my mother's parathas during lunch breaks to the countless sleepovers, I will never forget all the memories we created throughout high school.

I vividly remember the day I told you I would be studying abroad. You were so happy and proud of me for pursuing my dreams but also upset that we wouldn't be seeing each other every now and then. I was worried if our friendship would even last. But we have spent almost two years away from each other and our friendship only seems to get stronger.

I'm so grateful to technology for allowing us to be in touch all the time. My day doesn't feel complete if I do not receive a text from you. I know we do not video call often because of how busy our schedules are (another reason being time zones suck and I cannot do the math), but always know that I am there for you. It breaks my heart that I cannot be around for your birthdays or to celebrate your achievements. But I'm so proud of every milestone you achieve. I am so proud of all your accomplishments and the person you are becoming.

We have both had some terrible friendship experiences in our past before we met each other that have completely broken our faith in friendships. But know that you can always count on me and that I will never leave your side. Know that I will always set an alarm early in the morning just to video call you. Know that I will always be there for you (even if I'm not physically present around you). Know that you will always be the first person I share everything with.

I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me. Thank you for encouraging me to make new friends at college. Thank you for always being there during my failures and reminding me that it's not the end of the world and that more opportunities will come my way. Thank you for being there during my successes and being my number one cheerleader. Thank you for always reminding me to love myself. You not only have a special place in my heart but also have a special place in my family. My mother and sister not only glad that I have a best friend like you but also adore you so much. It is impossible to imagine a life without you.

I cannot wait for more butter chicken sleepover dates in December!

Lots of love,

Your best friend.

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