I remember growing up always believing my friends would come before any boy I ever dated. Like Leslie Knope said: "Ovaries before brovaries." In high school, my friends and I would get mad or upset at another friend that was giving her boyfriend more time than us. I still hear girls complain about how they're friends will put boyfriends before them.
I used to be one of those angry friends until I started dating my current boyfriend. We've been dating for three and a half years now and he really is my best friend. We do everything together. He's the first one I talk to about anything, good or bad. He's my rock. So with that being said, I devote a lot of time to him. Whenever I want to go to a movie or a concert or any other event, he's the first one I think of. I love spending my time with him, so I do.
The more time my boyfriend and I started spending together, the more I realized my friends weren't hanging out with me as much. I'd see on social media how much fun they were having without me. When I brought it up they would say things like, "Oh, we figured you'd be with your boyfriend" or "We thought you'd already have plans." I felt like I was being punished for being in love.
It's so unfair how girls do this to each other. Why can't your friend spend time with their boyfriend one night instead of you? Strengthening a relationship takes a lot of work, and that work requires a lot of time. I shouldn't feel like I'm losing friends because I found someone I love spending time with. I still want to make time to be with my friends, but sometimes it feels like they don't want to try. Balancing friends and a relationship can be a real obstacle.
So ladies, give your friend the benefit of the doubt if she's starting to spend more time with a boyfriend. I promise she's not trying to cut you out. Love is fun and hard and time-consuming and so many things...she just needs time to figure it all out. I LOVE being with my boyfriend, but I still need gal time. Just because I'm in a serious relationship doesn't mean I don't need my girls. Boyfriends aren't very great when it comes to chick flicks and drama. Just because it feels like you're being ignored because a friend is spending time with her boyfriend, doesn't mean you should ignore her back. It might feel like she doesn't want to spend time with you, but I promise she does. Really, I'm just asking for an invite.
Now don't take this the wrong way. I'm not saying it's okay to not talk to your friends if you have a boyfriend. Friends are so important, even if you consider you boyfriend your best friend. Make time to be with them. And seriously...if your friends say he's not good for you, 9 times out of 10 they are correct.
My boyfriend comes first. It really is as simple as that. That doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with other people. I still want to be with my friends and go out with them. I just need to spend time with my boyfriend first. So girls, please give your friends a little slack when they start spending more time with a boy and less time with you. They'll still always need you around.
