We all know the girl. Leggings, Uggs and North Face jacket in the winter. Crop tops, high waisted shorts and Converse shoes in the summer. Always with a Starbucks in her hand and perfectly curled hair. She usually comes with sarcasm, a love of Taylor Swift and infatuation with herself. This image is what’s known as the basic teenage girl.

While we tend to roll our eyes and make fun of her, our generation secretly idolizes her. She represents what is acceptable and likable. Basic has become trendy and girls strive to fit the mold. Every teenage girl wants to have an iPhone (preferably white), buy all her clothes from Pink and can't wait until the Pumpkin Spice Latte comes back in the fall.

But what happens to the girl who doesn’t like those things? The girl who says "I’m okay with my Android phone, my off brand clothing and tea?" She is immediately considered an outsider because she does not conform to what the majority says is likable. She takes her time to figure out what she actually likes instead of just agreeing with the mainstream. She finds what she thinks is good instead of having the internet, her friends or celebrities make that decision for her. However, this girl represents the minority. We, as a culture, have turned originality into something to be avoided and encouraged teenage girls to be replications of each other.

Every girl wants to be liked. That’s a given. Being liked and accepted is part of being human. But instead of cultivating young women who are capable of having different likes and interests and still respecting one another, we have turned it into a mentality of either you are with us, or against us. Either you fit into the “basic” mold, or you do not. Our culture has decided it’s better to just fit the common pattern instead of being yourself because we know that way we cannot fail. Being yourself, being unique, even being creative is frowned upon by millennials.

This is not to say all things claimed by the “stereotypical girl” are to be avoided. If you try Starbucks coffee and you like it, please by all means, drink it! I’m not ashamed to say that yoga pants are super comfortable and I wear them. If the Notebook is genuinely your favorite movie, keep watching it. It’s when we turn these things into the golden standard and girls have no choice but to like them, if they are going to fit into the mold, that they become detrimental. It’s not about the things that the basic girl has deemed likable, it is about the attitude behind the decisions.

I grew up both tomboyish and girly (perks of having a sister and two older brothers). I played with the neighbor boys, explored the woods, never liked to wear shoes and always had my hair in a ponytail. On the other hand, I can’t remember a time where I didn’t own a purse, and I started experimenting with makeup rather young. I never thought about fitting into a type of mold, being a certain way or having specific items to be cool. I remember the first time I was called weird at 12, because I watched PBS Kids instead of Disney Channel. When I got a flip phone at 13 was the first time I felt ashamed by what I had because it wasn’t the newest and coolest phone on the market. It was only this past year that I got an iPhone and I can honestly admit I felt a sense of relief that finally I wouldn’t be made fun of for my phone anymore.

This is not the society I want for my daughter. I want my daughter to be able to find her own interests, her own likes and dislikes without the influence of anyone else. If she chooses to imitate I hope she chooses a model who truly reflects herself, not one she was pressured into being by society or her peers. We should be celebrating uniqueness, new ideas and the differences of opinion. Likability has become a bully to young women, stifling their growth emotionally and causing insecurities. I want my daughter to know that her faith, being kind and gracious to others, being hospitable and, above all, loving, is what is important in life. God is going to equip her with uniqueness and He expects her to use it to His glory.

Let’s not raise the next generation of woman to be pushovers and people-pleasers. Let’s raise capable, intelligent young women who strive to make their mark on life by using their God-given talents. Let’s not conform to the idea that being liked is the goal of life. Let’s not continue to perpetuate this generation of girls who are crowd followers, too cool to think deeply, and who are only worried about their Starbucks drinks. Let’s spread the idea that individuality and originality are the “coolest” things you can be.

“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.” -Albert Einstein