I’m tired.

I’m tired of my mom telling me my shorts are too short.

I’m tired of the double standards.

I’m tired of it all.

It all started in the fifth grade when we talked about puberty. Boys and girls separated, of course, because god forbid men heard the word vagina at that age. I mean we all already learned about sex from our friends while riding the bus anyway. We were separated which meant we were different.

And then middle school started and the dress code kicked in. We sat in assemblies about appropriate behavior at school, but the boys got to leave early while the girls sat and got to hear for the umpteenth time how our shorts needed to be down to our fingertips and our tank-tops had to be three fingers wide, because shoulders are oh so scandalous. I can’t even begin to describe how many girls were sent home for not meeting these requirements in 80 degree weather while sitting in a hot school with no air conditioning. The dress code was more important than their education, but guys could walk around in t-shirts commonly known as wife beaters without a problem.

And by high school everyone was having sex and hooking up and hanging out and whatever else and you were either a prude because you wanted to wait for it to be special or a slut because you wanted to do what felt right and there was really no in between.

The point being girls are taught to cover up, but what are boys taught? That we should change in order to not disrupt their learning? Now don’t get me wrong. I am not trying to insult the whole male species right now, I’m just trying to prove a point – the point being that women have their own set of rules that are downright ridiculous.

I’m so tired. Tired of being taught to watch my back and look over my shoulder when I’m alone because people are “crazy” and you never know what they are going to do. But how else am I supposed to act? I’m a small girl standing at just 5’4 and although I think I’m pretty strong I know I’m no match for a larger man or even a larger woman at that. Even though I don’t understand it and I think it is completely absurd that is what I’ve done my whole life.

Take the recent case at Stanford. This man – if you can even call him that – raped a woman with barley any consequence, so how am I – a college aged woman – supposed to act? That could have easily been me. Clearly I am mad, disappointed and upset by this case. I don’t even know what to say really other than why? Why, why, why, why, why? Why is this the world we live in?

Why are men still paid higher than women who have the same qualifications and perform the same duties? I’ve seen my mom work in “a man’s world” my entire life and it took that entire time for her to work her way up and receive the pay of her male peers. As the boss, her employees sometimes see her as bossy or bitchy, but if a male were in her position he would simply be seen as doing his job.

So I’m tired of being a woman. I’m done living in fear that my short shorts send a subliminal message that I’m ready and eager to have sex. I’m done worrying that every guy on the street is out to get me, because that is what I’ve been taught to think. I am done with the stereotypes that come with being a woman. I am strong, both physically and mentally. I have accomplished so much already in my short life and I refuse to down play those accomplishments just to make it seem like I’m not bragging.

I am ready to live in a world where a man is treated like my equal, because that is exactly what it is.