Imagine it’s the year 1850 and you’re in a relationship. The only way you can contact your lover is to write a letter or hit up the local telegraph. There is no way to text them and say “what’s ur problem?” or call to ream them out for something that pissed you off.
Back then people spent much more time away from not only loved ones, they were often disconnected from the entire outside world. We have become so spoiled by technological advancements that many have even become dependent on socialization—hence the term FOMO (fear of missing out) and the recent epidemic of social media addictions. Sometimes it’s good to just take a break from it all. Sometimes, isolation is not always lonely, it can be healthy, refreshing and even healing.
BBC Magazine, a news outlet based out of the UK, conducted a study investigating how people prefer to rest and how it’s linked to well-being. “The Rest Test” study was a collaboration between BBC Radio 4 and the Wellcome Collection's researchers. Out of 18,000 people, 68.4 percent said they wished they had more rest and over 50 percent said their best rest involved being alone. What is also interesting about the study is that almost all of the other activities voted in the test determining how people prefer to rest are often done alone. Some of the top restful activities included reading, being in a natural environment, listening to music, having a bath or shower, daydreaming and doing nothing in particular. All of which are commonly done alone in a peaceful environment.
Socializing is important but you also need to know when to have some “me-time.” The test proves that the mind can only rest so much if the body’s state of restfulness isn’t adequate. The author of the article, Claudia Hammond says, “The reason people want to be alone might be explained by the answers people gave when they were asked what is going on in their minds when they do different activities.” She believes the study proves perceptions of rest are important when considering why people have unrestful minds. If you are always busy—surrounded by people, places, things—then your mind is always working, constantly revolved around other things and you never have time to focus on yourself.
“Many people, it seems, would like to have more time to rest but perhaps it’s not the total hours resting or working that we need to consider, but the rhythms of our work, rest and time, with and without others,” she says. “To truly feel rest do we need time alone without fear of interruption, when we can be alone with our thoughts? From the Rest Test, it would appear so.”
People thrive off of other people—especially those who live busy lives and are surrounded with socialization. It’s important to stay connected with people but it’s also important to be alone for many reasons. Not only do you have time to yourself to think and let your brain rest, but you also build a sense of independence and self-sufficiency. You’re not constantly depending on others to fill a void, or seek attention, or satisfaction, or a temporary, false sense of security. Most of all, it’s important to balance time with friends and family with time to yourself. Don’t push people out of your life, just try to make some time to focus on yourself—you’re mental, physical and overall well-being. It's OK if you're friends are hanging out without you because you needed to take some alone time. True friends will always reserve your spot for when you return.
As a result of the study’s conclusions, Hammonds adds a good point to this idea of solitude and health. “We need to remember, of course, that choosing to be alone is very different from enforced loneliness.”
Always keep in mind that you never know what someone is going through. The best thing you can do is show empathy and support to those who may need some alone time.
