What is this thing called "adulting?" Well, when a young man or woman begins "adulting," he or she has entered a phase of life in which it is time to begin to take on larger responsibilities such as, bills, rent payments, car payments, etc. These responsibilities I am referring to cause much greater consequences if they are not taken care of by a certain date, unlike the consequences of not performing chores (which usually result in grounding or no cell phone use). The consequences cause even larger impacts than most realize: your credit rating plummets if bills are not paid every due date, you face eviction if rent is not paid, and you might even face bankruptcy (after a compilation of many skipped due dates). I am by no means saying I have mastered all of these responsibilities, because the truth is I may not do that until I am nearly dead. Finances are serious and even the biggest penny pincher could end up in a terrible hole with one simple money-spending mistake. I say I am no master because for one, I have six credit cards. Yes, you read that right, six. I pay them monthly, and it is difficult at times. I do know the severity of being late for my payments which is why I may struggle with being happy all of the time, because I would much rather spend the money I save on new clothes, shoes or, even better, feed my makeup addiction (thank God Ulta has yet to have a credit card just for their store).
The key to making sure these responsibilities are taken care of is not always so simple because even after sitting down and writing the due dates in my planner and bill organizer, there may be that one month where there are six family member birthdays, a wedding, and even emergencies. Now, I may have over-exaggerated just a bit, but my point is that we must have a back-up plan when we just live paycheck to paycheck to pay bills and eat. My backup plan is also known as my dad. No, I am just kidding (sometimes). It is my savings account. I am very thankful my parents made me open a savings account when I was fairly young. I have put endless amounts of birthday, Christmas, and holiday money in it and now I have a master back-up plan if I were to get fired or end up in a situation where I needed some money.
There are many other ways to manage your money rather than just keeping all of your bills in your purse, because we both know you will forget they are there or one will end up stuck under that large obnoxious makeup bag in there. My organizer consists of three items. First, my checkbook. Well, I began balancing my mother's checkbook when I was in fifth grade because I would go to the bank and the post office with her when she would sit down and write out her checks, so it is a fallback for me. Second is my planner. It's stylish and has my monogram on the front, so it is cute to look at. I write down my pay periods, important deadlines and workdays in it. Lastly is my bill organizer. It has pockets for every month for my actual paper copy bills to go in, and it has a schedule section where I write what bill it is, when it is due, and whether or not I have paid it. I love all of my tools because it makes my organization problem happy, it helps me to pay on time and not miss important dates, and it helps me manage my money to keep track of my spending. Yes, we all use mobile banking but this way I can keep track of my monthly and weekly spending to budget with.
"Adulting" is not all about bill paying, but it is a major struggle for many young adults that are transitioning from their parents paying their way to paying everything on their own. I was blessed to have been taught how to manage my money and spending while I was growing up, and I was blessed with two amazing influences: my parents. Not only have they influenced me, but they have helped me, over time, to slowly adjust to the real world and the expenses that come with living on your own (I have learned most of this recently, and the hard way at that). There are other aspects that make "adulting" so difficult such as life expectations, the discovering of yourself and what you want to do in life, and who you want to do that with.
Finding the perfect person is not a simple thing that just falls into your lap. There are many bumps in the road and many bad experiences at first; however, the main purpose behind these experiences is to show you how you turn the downfalls into beautiful masterpieces. I hit a point in my life where I was not happy, so I turned my issues over to God. I prayed and prayed that God would fix the issues or lead me to where I needed to be. After many prayers and tears, I was blessed with all I could have asked for and so much more. I was given my person. Now, everyone has different outlooks on who their person may be. My foremost need was a person I could confide in and be the best of friends with, because at the end of a broken path if everyone's backs were turned toward me, I would know that my partner (second) and best friend (first) would be there for me. Matthew meets these needs.We do argue, and we have different views on life ,but one thing we know we will always have in common is our friendship. Not mushy, gushy love, which is great and all, but the most important and enjoyable part: being best friends.
What you want to do in life, or rather, what you want to get out of life, is very important to most. I encourage you all to dream big and light a fire within to push away the negative comments and "morally correct" ways to do things and comments about what career field you supposedly cannot be in. I want to be an orthopedic surgeon and specialize in sports medicine. Now, sit back and think about how many female surgeons you know in this field. Well, I can tell you that I personally know none and that is okay with me. I am not afraid of stereotyping, because, at the end of the day, this is the career field my heart desires to be in and I will not stop until I reach my goal. It is okay to set dreams that others are too scared to try. Look into the facts behind it. Some people are not willing to put forth the dedication and effort to achieve these goals, but that does not mean that you cannot. I know without a doubt if this is the career I will have seven years down the road then I will have it with God's grace. Do not let people say you can't because these are your dreams and your happiness. Who cares what they say? Instead of sitting there thinking about what else you "should" do, use their comments as a fire and driving force to help you get there.
Discovering yourself is listed last because it is the most difficult of all. I know people double my age who still do not know who they are, and that is quite fine because, sadly, not everyone discovers it before they leave this earth. Even I have not completely found out who I am. The reason I believe I never will is because God is molding me daily. He is constantly changing me to be a better light for him and I am completely satisfied with that. So, please do not force yourself to be something you are not. What you are and always will be is a beautiful child of God. I know it is hard to be happy with appearances, weight, or how your hair or clothes look, but that is okay. Be you and be different. Stand out in your wardrobe choices, be a happy little bee and walk everywhere with your head held high because this is who you are. Put on that makeup if you want to. We all know you do not need it because you are radiantly beautiful, but if it makes you happy don't let anyone stop you. If you truly hate your weight, change it. Change your diet or what workouts you do, but do not give up. If you are super skinny or larger, find your peace with how you look. If you cannot, seek help or research it. You always have options! Lastly, treat yourself every once in a while. Go to the hair salon and get your hair done. And, if you want to go a step farther, get your nails done, too. It is okay to get dolled up at times, because the main purpose in life is to be happy with who you are and to serve your lord.
There are important things in life, but your purpose is to be you and I couldn't encourage you more to be proud of that and to be proud of others so they can then be proud and continue to spread the pride and happiness to everyone. God bless.
