Anyone that is in college or have recently graduated and joined the work force knows about the culture of the Hook-Up era. For those who are not familiar with the 'Hook-Up Era,' it is a pop culture term that describes the current tread of the dating scene for millennials. This new ‘Era’ is one that freely accepts and also encourages sexual encounters with casual partners. These may include one-night stands, heavy kissing, and/or any other physical pleasure that is free of emotional ties and commitment. This idea typically carries a negative connotation with it compare to the dating scene of our parents and grandparents, where we always hear about how they were high school sweethearts or that they had some amazing first date. It’s a popular belief that this “Era” is because of the males of this generation, don’t want to commit to one partner and have free rein to do what they want. So it’s only fair to blame the guys for this right? However, it does take two to tango, so is it females to blame for this? There have been reasonable arguments on both sides, so could it be both of their faults. The answer isn’t so black and white. It isn’t the guy’s fault, nor is it the girls fault, it can be broken down to a few reasons.
Waiting to settle to advance in school or career
The first thing to blame for this era would be the pressure to advance in school or in your career before having children. Millennials have been told over and over again that they need to go to college to get any sort of job that doesn’t include fast food or factory work. Not that those jobs aren’t beneficial to society, because without them how would college kids get Taco Bell at two in the morning? Freshman coming into universities are under more and more pressure to keep up a good GPA, socialize with others, find internships, and maintain some sort of mental stability. Coming into college at 18 or 19 and assume they know what they want to do for the rest of your life is a daunting task for someone so young. High school was a very structured step ladder to college where they now have to navigate the moving stair case from Harry Potter. Once one is settled into the chaotic life of college it’s a high speed roller coaster ride to the end. This typically puts pressure onto peoples’ social life and something has to give, and it’s easy to shove aside new relationships that take work to build on.
The same thing can be said about someone just starting their career. This person is now in a job that they are worked multiple years just to get into the entry level position. They are stuck at the bottom of the totem pole once again, typically getting stuck doing the unwanted hours and tasks. If they get lucky, they are working at a place that typically hire each year or hires interns that can take some of the grunt work away from them. However, it is proven that people are getting married later in life. This is partially due to that people want to get settled down within their jobs before they commit to something such as marriage or a serious relationship.
Social acceptance of the sexualization of youth.
The second thing to blame would be the acceptance of youth and sex. In the culture of America right now the idea going on is that the youths being overly sexual with each other. The problem with this idea is that the youths of the past were also just as sexualized but it wasn’t as socially acceptable. For example, if a high school senior these days were to get pregnant, she would have a better chance of getting aid, unlike when our parents went to high school and a girl would get pregnant she would be taken out of school to raise the child or maybe to get rid of it. Now with shows like 16 and pregnant and teen moms it is almost giving high-school students the go ahead to have sex. Now take these kids and put them into a college environment with limited supervision and direct contact with numerous partners. These new freedoms and the idea of their peers over sexualized leads into thinking people are hooking up more than they really are. This in turn causes these young adults to have more sexual encounters to “catch up” to their peers.
Then there are countless movements and groups that try to take shame out of any form of sexual material. Which there shouldn’t any shame in sex, but these groups come off as encouraging spontaneous and irresponsible sex. You can see stories all over social media about one night stands and how it has empowered this lady’s life, or how a quick hook up boosted a guy’s self-esteem. With these Ideas and groups constantly gaining popularity due to social media it is hard for the youth of today to not think of the causal hook-up as a normal thing in society.
Biology
Now looking towards nature for the last thing to blame for the hook up era. It is simple biology. Now for those who see this as just another excuse for guys to say it’s just in our nature, hold on. Back in the last 1940s A.J. Bateman was one of the first person to write a scientific paper on the behavior of sex within the animal kingdom. He writes about how females were reserved and only mated as much as they needed to have offspring, but where-as the male counterpart would go on and gallivant at any opportunity. The reason his research was so widely accepted was because it was an observed studying that consisted of hundreds of hours watching fruit flies. This study is what started the whole idea of men being promiscuous or unfaithful. The thing that is wrong with this study, is that the species of fruit fly (Drosphila melanogaster) he use has an uncommon mating habit. The female flies of this species only prefer to mate once a week or so. If he would have used a different species he would have gotten different results. Such as other females in this genus would have sex multiple times in a day. It wasn’t until the 1980s that biologist realized Bateman was wrong and it was typically the females of each species that was the one fooling around more than their male counterparts. However, these females did it for a point, to get the best possible genes and to have greater chance to fertilize their eggs. The one thing that Bateman did get correct is that the males would precede in trying to get as many chances at mating as they could.
So how does that biology relate to our hook up culture? Well it is only when we look at the biology of sex and the technology we have today. With the invention of widely available birth control that females decreased the chances of getting pregnant is when we sort of backed tracked in a way of the evolutionary process. Looking at primates’ sex culture gives us a better look into our so called hook up era. There is plenty of evidence that shows primates’ having sex for the simple reason of pleasure. Bonobos for example are a species of primates that have a hierarchy where the females run the communities and when there is a conflict or another situation females typically would have sex with each other by rubbing either genitals together. It also shows that the more adventurous or promiscuous primates are more likely to obtain orgasms (Yes, the female orgasm does exist, it’s not just a myth), and with these primates they typically have more partners.
Results
So maybe it is more of the females fault for the hook-up culture right? Well that is where the centuries of human culture come in to balance it out. We have come up with social norms and unspoken rules about sex and other sexual concepts. But this is where the acceptance of sexualization of the youth and these groups that are opposing these norms. In the past the culture around marriage and sex wasn’t influenced by advancing one’s education or career that it is nowadays. Also no matter how hard we try as humans to separate ourselves from animals we simply cannot stop the biological influences of our nature. So the next time you see that one friend from college post about how they are sick of this hook up culture and blaming it on a past experience, we know “who” is really to blame.
