Where I've Been
"If you don't perform better, you won't get into college."
I've been a decent student my entire life. Literature is my guilty pleasure and I've never met a piece of poetry I didn't respect. I've always been capable of doing the work assigned to me throughout my academic career, however I often struggled to find the motivation to put pen to paper. I struggled extremely hard with grades and coursework throughout the majority of high school. My sophomore year was the hardest. I remember coming home from school with every intention to do all of my homework. I would sit cross legged on my bed with my text books, notebooks and all of my colorful highlighters sprawled out in front of me. I would take a deep breath and open up my books, ready to complete every assignment before bed time. And then....I would just stare. I would stare at the words on the page in front of me and not know where to start. I would stare for hours and hours without moving from my perch on the bed. I would bring dinner back to my room and stare some more, only stopping to sleep. The pages of my books became tear stained after a while.
I was always frustrated with myself the morning after. I didn't understand why I couldn't force my brain to comprehend the assignments that everyone managed to complete except for me. My teachers were nearly always angry.
"I don't understand why you don't try," they'd say.
But I did try. I tried so hard, probably harder than anyone else, yet I couldn't produce anything to show for it.
My grades tanked. If it weren't for Savannah Deal, one of the greatest friends I could have ever hoped for, I wouldn't have passed several of my classes. I looked up to Savannah so much that her faith in my ability to succeed acted as a motivator to complete high school. I remember her staying after school to study with me and insisting that I take some time to work on homework when we spent time together. I remember her offering to pair up with me on projects, which prompted me to complete all of the work so as not to disappoint her. Thankfully, Savannah was simply the first of many amazing motivators.
In 2016, I graduated with high honors.
Where I Am
If someone would have told me a year ago that I would end up majoring in Religious Studies at UNC Asheville (or even that I would have been accepted to UNC Asheville), I would have insisted that they were crazy. But here I am!
The academic study of religion just sparks excitement and motivation in my life. I attend every class eagerly, pay attention to every note and sacred text, and complete each homework assignment readily because I am absolutely in love with the material. Perhaps that's why college is so different than high school. In high school, you're all working towards the same goal - graduation. In college, however, everyone is working towards different goals. In fact, very rarely do two individuals work towards the exact same goal. Your future is of your own creation and you have the wonderful ability to mold it into whatever you would like with little to no limitations.
Here, I need no motivation except for my own desire to be successful. I have fallen in love with Religious Studies and I couldn't imagine my life without it. I've had the opportunity to connect with students who share the same passions as I do, as well as learn from some of the most amazing instructors imaginable.
I'm excited to go to class every single morning! Can you imagine that?
Where I'm Going
Education is huge, but my future will be so much more than that. I imagine that I'll have big family. No, a huge family (to make up for my lack of siblings). I'll tell my children all about my passions for Religious Studies, which will in turn teach them tolerance and respect. Once they're old enough, I'll tell them about how much I struggled throughout high school and beg them to come to me if they ever struggle like I did.
I'll tell them about Savannah. They'll beg to meet her. I'll promise them they'll get the opportunity to meet her once she returns from her pilgrimage in some incredible country, or something equally as amazing. I'll instruct them to extend help to whomever is struggling whenever possible. I'll let them make their own choices and hold them as they learn from the consequences. There will be more love and acceptance in my home than that of any other home in the entire world.
I'll be happy.
I am happy.
