Emotions are funny things. They make us laugh and cry based on some of the tiniest occurrences. But while some people are loud and proud with theirs, I am not. In fact, most of the time, mine are pretty muted.
I'm stable. Constant. I get frustrated, but it's rare that I'm full on angry or freaked out. Things just don't generally make me that upset. Now, if we're talking about crying...
That doesn't exist much for me.
Whether it be a sad movie, someone being really sick or other people getting upset about something, I probably won't shed a tear.
Now, I'm not a shell of a human, but other people certainly make me feel like it's wrong. I'll be sitting with a friend and they will be upset about something, but I don't really do anything about it. I don't really know how to console people besides just being there for them. For me, all I need is presence and I usually do OK.
But I know other people don't really understand that. Instead, they think I'm just a harsh person who doesn't feel anything at all. And you know what? That's really hurtful and completely untrue. I feel a lot, actually. I carry my pains and sorrows, but unlike most people, it's a inside kind of pain.
When my grandfather died this semester, I did cry. I cried when I was on a trip with forensics right in front of my coach. Not when he actually died, but when my mom told me he was ill. However, it was just one time. I didn't cry at the funeral or any time when we were preparing. Though, during the service, my little sister did cry. She cries much more than I do, so it wasn't necessarily out of character. Since she was upset, I put my arm around her and she sobbed into my shirt.
I was actually the only one who didn't cry in my family. I had accepted long ago what was going to happen, so I was already in the process of trying to heal from our loss.
I deal with grief in a private way. I don't do big expressions of emotion. However, there is nothing wrong with that. Don't expect me to be the same way you are when it comes to sadness and emotions in general. Stop telling me I'm hard-hearted or unfeeling. It's untrue and simply unkind.
That doesn't just go for me, obviously. I have other friends who have expressed something similar, and I know exactly what they're going through.
People are all different. We feel and express in different ways. That's not bad, but instead is what makes us unique. The way we love is entirely unique to that person in question.
People are beautiful just the way they are. Stop trying to make them something that they're not. If I don't cry when you do, there's absolutely nothing wrong with me or anyone else who doesn't cry when people think they're supposed to.
Mostly though, stop the judgement. Just let people be people. That's what they really need anyway -- not to be what society wants them to be, but be who they want to be.
