For those of you that have divorced parents, you know how difficult it can be. Things were once so simple, like holidays for example, are now tough. Marriage is supposed to mean forever, so why did this happen to my family? When I first found out my parents were splitting up, I thought it was the hardest thing I would ever go through. Boy was I wrong. Believe it or not, there is something worse…when your mom gets a boyfriend. As with many other things in life, it happens in stages.

Stage 1: Secrets

This first stage is when you know that your mom is dating, but she hasn’t told you yet because she doesn’t think you’re ready. You really want to know who the guy is that, in your mind at the time, is “replacing” your dad.

Stage 2: First Meeting

Your mom finally got the courage to tell you that she is seeing someone. She says, “He wants to take us out to dinner and meet you.” You know he is going to put on a smile, ask you a million questions, and make “small talk”. You dread this dinner more than the dentist because once again, he’s not your dad. You walk into the restaurant already disliking him. Once you get there and get as most comfortable as you can, you realize he isn’t half bad.

Step 3: Seeing Them Together

This is an “in between” stage. You don’t totally hate the guy, but you still aren’t completely open to it yet. You see your mom smile at your phone. You watch her hold hands with him and cuddle on the couch. It’s so difficult to see that, so you just try your best to stay away and avoid it at all costs.

Step 3: Acceptance

It takes a little while, but eventually, you grow to accept that it is time to let your mom be happy no matter what. This is the hardest part for sure. As the years go by, you realize that your heart grows even more. No one will ever replace your dad, but you may see that you grew to care for your mom’s boyfriend almost as much as she does.

Yes, divorce sucks, but there are some good things that come out of it. Seeing your mom happy again almost makes you forget about those holidays that are a little harder than normal.